Saturday, December 11, 2010

Save me from myself??

I would probably switch up a few things with this look, maybe dump the cut out Tshirt and actually have a solid Tee, and have a pair of darker jeans/jeggings etc. which actually got to the boot so that slight leg skin action is eliminated. It makes the mannequin look stunted. Anyways its the jacket I am loving most in all this, its Balmain, its on sale and you can find it here reduced from $11845 to $2961.25. (Yippeeeee???)

Moving right along. Today's post is going to be short because I have a ton of errands to run and I have decided to put up my Christmas tree today (YAY!!!!). (Wish me luck) Today's topic is about advice versus opinion and how you take either of those in your life and relationships.

Obviously when you meet someone new your friends, relatives etc. are all happy for you etc. till they meet that person and then a. continue to stay happy for you b. hint he/she is not the one for you or c. flat out say dump him/her.

In those situations what do you do? How much stock do you put in what other people have to say about your relationship? I know my family is very tight so everyone will have an opinion on the man that approaches them for my hand in marriage. Notice I did not say the man I bring home to marry. Cultural thing, in my culture the man is the one that goes "knocking" and not the other way around EVER!!!! If you like a guy and he does not go and ask for your hand or knock for you ...there is no way (at least none I have ever heard) that makes it acceptable for the girl to go knocking for the guy. (If i am lying please let me know). Anyways so back to what I was saying. So my family will have an opinion which will lead to advice...now how much of this should and can I take.

In the past, have been the one evaluating boyfriends and telling my friends/cousins to dump them so I know people can look and see things that you or me may not see whilst we are in the relationship, so in that sense I appreciate the looking out. Then again that are situations that have seemingly withstood the odds against them. Where people I thought should have no business together are "seemingly" doing well together.

This is something I know I can solve overnight (sigh), in the past when I was asked, "What would you do if your dad did not like someone who came to knock for you" my very confident answer was " I'd dump him". Now I am not so sure. I mean I would have to sit down and talk to my dad a lot because he is someone whose opinion I value highly and I know he would never lead me astray but he is human like I am and thus can make a mistake. ( Have I further confused you as much as I have confused myself?)

So what is the solution? Well I had a friend once, who met the man of her dreams but her family and specifically her dad did not approve of this man because of skin color. The girl was torn, we all know how every girl is a daddy's girl (I dont care what you say). She fasted for a week or was it a month and kept praying about it. In the end, the dad was able to look past the guys skin color and realize how truly happy this guy made his daughter and they are now happily married and she is still happy as can be (sigh).

So i guess what I am saying is what I say all along. If God finds you your mate then even if there seem to be valleys and potholes in the relationship, God will provide the tar to fill those potholes and the wooden plank to help you cross the valley (wait how does one cross a valley efficiently???) Oh well...I stay praying that when "Decision:" time comes around for me, I will have a good man doing the knocking and have no problems with my Dad and my family opening the door to him.

Sidenote: This is what YOU can do to make your friends truly respect your input in their relationships. Do not always volunteer information. It is not your relationship so no one really cares what you would have done if you were "in his/her shoes". Make arguments based on logic (even though most of the time logic flies out the window when people are in love) still if you are telling your friend why you think someone is not right for them dont use vague things like, "I dont like him/her", why? "I dont know". (I will dismiss you immediately). Yes we all have gut feelings we should pay attention to but that gut feeling should lead to something tangible before you go blab your opinion otherwise your friend will not take you seriously and everything you say from that point on, even if it is valid will be dismissed. Be a good friend, think, if I was in that persons situation how would I want x, y, z, situation handled and handle it in that way. “The thoughts of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful.”Proverbs 12:5

So all in all, Ive said a lot today and said really little, this is something I will continue to think and pray about and if and/or when you read/see/hear im married, I guess you will know the right guy came along afterall lol. Keep God first in everything you do and he will take you through everything you think you are not able to go through. True Friends please continue to be the true friends you are, so we can discard of all the fake friends and those pretending to be our friends :).

“Good friend, follow your father’s good advice; don’t wander off from your mother’s teachings.Wrap yourself in them from head to foot; wear them like a scarf around your neck.Wherever you walk, they’ll guide you; whenever you rest, they’ll guard you;When you wake up, they’ll tell you what’s next.For sound advice is a beacon, good teaching is a light, moral discipline is a life path.” Proverbs 6:20 -23


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