I love everything this outfit has to offer for office wear. It is classy and stylish but feminine at the same time. It would take too long to break down what each part cost so please check here. The whole look goes for less than $300.00 *side eye*. For others cheap like I am, I am sure we can mimic the look with things we get at TJ Maxx, Ross, etc. :).So I was trying to do some research/studying for an interview and I came across my qualifying exam answers. Reading them now, I do not know who wrote them. How did I remember all the things I remembered?? I used to be a "shark"(slang for a brain-aic). Now, not so much. Lol. Its still good to know I had it "once". *Sigh*...
Moving right along. Today's title pretty much sums up the topic of the day. Badly behaved children. I CANNOT STAND badly behaved children. No, you know how you or some other people can look at kids misbehaving and just nod sympathetically at the poor parent and keep it moving? Not me, bad kids kill a little bit of my soul. (Yes I am being overly dramatic, but its true. I abhor children without manners.)
Oh I forgot my usual disclaimer. *This post is not discussing children with mental/psychological issues which prevents them from knowing and thus doing better, this is for children with normal mental acuity*
"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)
So what makes me pick on the small innocent children today? Well because I am seeing more and more children "acting" out with their parents sitting idly by. I know we have all seen the children screaming in the grocery stores, or the children doing the tantrum dance on department store floors, or even better, the children doing the demon screaming and scrambling for the door, or trying to climb over/under the pews in Church . *Sigh* These are only a few of the instances that pushed me to write this post. *Sidenote* Thank God Francis knowing me has already ok-ed me "straightening" B out if he gets confused...ever!
Back to the issue of badly behaving children. Who is to be blamed? Nature? Nurture? Oh, let's make this discussion even more interesting by suggesting that some people are just born inherently bad and evil. I do not subscribe to this viewpoint, however, so sorry it does not fly in this discussion. I think people are inherently good (but sinful) and then after baptism they are cleansed. Based on my view then there are no inherently spiritually bad children. Do you agree or not? If you disagree, that's your beef...moving on.
So if these children are not bad through nature, then are they bad because of the surroundings they find themselves in? To some extent I say yes. Bad mannered children sometimes are a reflection of their parents. Now I say "sometimes" because I have seen cases where the parents were brought up properly and try everything short of killing their kids and still these kids misbehave. So for such parents maybe we need to discuss the possibility of exorcism? (I keed, I keed).
Such bad behavior from children is simply unacceptable. Like my father would say, "not while you are living in my house" and my mother would say, " I gave birth to you and not the other way around". I dared not try such nonsense with my parents, my aunts, uncles or any other elder person who happened to be in charge of me. I would get punished by said adult and then when we got home and I was "reported" to my parents, I would get punished AGAIN!
At this point it is also important to say I do not condone violence or physical abuse on anyone especially children. If you are simply wailing on a child for no good reason or even for a little infraction, you need to get checked! There are so many disturbing stories in the news currently about parents who have starved, chained, abused their children. In some cases, these were babies, there is no excuse for doing that to a baby. Others cited "bad" behavior of the kids. Keeping in mind that most of these children are below the age of 5, there is no excuse for the parents.
What I am advocating is a "checking" method that does not ultimately harm your children but trains them. There are several verbal and non verbal ways to do this.
Non verbal method:
The look: I remember, matter of fact I do not even have to remember it still works. My parents have a "look" that they can give me in public that freezes me up like an Iphone on a bad day :). Yes, that look STILL works!! That is how powerful it is. You need to train your child to recognize the look and know the repercussions of the look. The look alone, however, is insufficient in teaching the child what they did wrong. This should usually be incorporated with the speaking.
Verbal method:
Speaking: So you come home, tired from work and you find your favorite vase smashed. Of course your first inclination will be to scream bloody murder. Consider drinking a glass of cold water FIRST! Then go speak to your child about, what happened. Listen carefully and then respond with punishments befitting the crime. So for example in this case Jnr. was 1. running through the house, 2. chasing his ball and he smashed the gift. If the rules are no running and no ball playing s/he gets punished for running and playing ball in the house. There have to be consequences for every rule broken. Make sure the children understand this, they are being punished for THAT specific action (or inaction).
Non verbal method:
Spanking, pinching, etc.
Sue me but I am an advocate of spanking. Not to be confused with brutally abusing the child. Simple spanking should do. I think spanking is more appropriate for younger children you cannot sit and explain things to. That spanking will act as a reminder next time they want to do something and should serve as a deterrent. Here is an interesting article on spanking, that I think properly highlights the importance of spanking, what are your thoughts?
Non verbal method:
Sending the child up to their room:
I personally never saw the "power" in this. Ok so even if there is nothing in the child's room to do (no TV, no Computer), they can go right to bed and then whats the punishment again? For me this punishment is rather "cruel and unusual" when it works and a waste of time when it does not. As a child, nothing brought me greater joy than to be on my own without my brothers bugging me. If I had been sent to my room, it would have been a welcomed reprieve for me to go and read in peace without worrying about chores or my brother.
Verbal method:
Shouting: I dislike shouting immensely so this should never be used. Shouting serves no purpose. Yes you are mad and angry but what exactly is the child supposed to learn from you screaming like a lunatic. Or even worse cursing like a drunken sailor? Do not be shocked when in a few years this same child is throwing tantrums or engaging in shouting matches with you because that is the only way they feel they can be heard.
There are many ways that parents can use/learn to teach their children how to be well behaved in public and at home. If these parents are neglecting these responsibilities and allowing their children to run amok then it is the responsibility of someone else to "check" the kid. ( I am just saying). In my culture, the child belonged to the society so if someone saw you misbehaving they had every right to punish you and then to add insult to injury "report" you to your parents for more punishments for embarrassing them when they were not around. *Sigh*
With the psychos running around, however, I know I would go ape crazy if anyone ever laid a hand on my child so I do not advocate the new wave of child behavior enhancers that has been sweeping the nation. Please please please NEVER EVER put your hand on a strangers child. If you can not deal with the noise, remove yourself from the situation, it is that simple.
Ok so what is the morale of the story? Parents, train your children. Doing this will keep the rest of us from wanting to smack or train your badly behaving children for you.
Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 11:15
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