So today we will do it a little bit differently and instead of having the one thing I am lusting after, have this picture my baby sent to cheer me up. :). Basically telling me not to focus on the dark clouds that are in the forefront but rather on the lighter ones coming up behind them.
I have been in an absolute FUNK the past few days. Going away this weekend was DEFINITELY a good idea. If I had stayed I think I would have gone certifiable. Always good to hang out with the homies, laughing about nothing, eating everything and enjoying it all.
This week finds me super stressed, still no job and the prospects arent looking too rosy either. My documentation necessary for me to leave the country havent come yet and I am due to leave in 3 weeks. (Can you start to understand my panic mode?) Being someone who thrives on structure, this uncertainty is taking me beyond normal stress to intense panic mode. It is definitely not a fun feeling at all.
Got me thinking of concrete ways that people can get out of funk situations. I mean I am whining about my situation but compared to a lot of people I am sitting really pretty. I am not homeless(yet) lol, yes I have maxed out my credit card but its a doable amount and not something stupid like 5k or 10k. I do not have student loan people hounding me (yet). I do not have any kids or pets to worry about. So yeah I am really sitting pretty but then like all other human beings I want more, I want better...
What I am using to console myself is the fact that God knows best. Certain situations do not happen in order for others to. For example when I was so convinced I needed to avoid going to boarding school, God knew better and I wasnt accepted by the alternative schools. I was so mad (and afraid of the beatings I would get in boarding school). But unbeknown to me, my parents were working on another deal and I ended up going to a school that was so very well suited to me, I could not have picked a better school myself. Then again (apparently I did not learn my lesson) when I was battling my father to go to London because thats where the LOVE OF MY LIFE (*HA!*) was going to be I was very very upset with God that I ended up in the States. Looking back on all of it, I would have absolutely HATED living in London and I have made some amazing friends and had some amazing times here in the states. So I proposed and God disposed and in his disposing he gave me things I never even fathomed. My thinking or pleading was for Level 1 greatness when he had planned Level 10 for me.
Thinking about all these times and many other situations where I simply had to shut up and get "served" by God in his own time makes me hopeful, but then the devil is doing overtime putting doubts in my head. What if, what if, what if...and I am human so some of these doubts make me freak outttt...but I should know better. I am in a funk and I am allowing myself to funk out a little bit because it gives me time to get back to my source, pray a bit more and refocus on the important things.
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?
Please pray I get my paperwork so I can leave and we will pray for the rest later lol :)...
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