Thursday, July 22, 2010

"Close your legs to married men"...

I am waiting for the day we can scratch and sniff from websites (wake me up from my grave when that happens). Until then, you will just have to trust me that this Dolce & Gabbana "The One" is truly the one. Smelled/smelt it on a friend's boyfriend the other time and fell absolutely in love. With the cologne and not the boyfriend of course :). Price ranges depending on where you pick it up but Amazon has it for $57.05.

Anyways I picked this product because it ties in nicely with the topic of today. Other people's taken men or even worse married men. Now despite popular belief and rumors to the contrary, I have never, I am not and I will never mess with someone else's man/husband. If you do, I am JUDGING you right now! I am doing more than judging you, I am judging you and giving you icy, disapproving looks!!!

Shame on you! Shame, Shame, Shame!!! Actually shame on the both of you. Shame on the man because he is the one supposed to be in a committed relationship and he is breaking vows (and thereby causing you to sin) tsk tsk. I know some women who use this as an excuse for their involvement. Well I am not the married one, so I am not really as bad as the person who is married AND cheating. I will give you a moment for that stupid comment to really settle so we can both agree on how stupid it is. First of all, do we think so lowly of ourselves that we are willing to let someone else pick us second and be totally ok with this?

Then there are the women who make it their mission to "hunt" down taken men. Their excuse? A variety of them ranging from he will have no long term expectations, to that is just my personal preference to he will leave her for me etc. etc. Come to think of it any stupid excuse can be used to try to excuse stupidity. Remember I am judging you here so let me. Now hey not everyone believes in being in a relationship, or a monogamous relationship that is your choice but I believe that people's choices are only truly choices when it does not infringe on another choice. For a mistress (yes thats really all you are) to be able to justify her actions I would need her to have the wife on board. Yes please call me and tell me you have made the choice to share my husband with me so I can make the choice as to whether I want to allow myself to be a part of this or leave you two alone and be gone.

Many people are of a variety of school of thoughts when it comes to finding reasons as to why men cheat. I do not know why ...the only thing I know is that if a man is going to cheat, nothing on God's green earth will stop him. (Hence the importance of having a Godly man in your life who places your best interest before his own) *back to the regularly scheduled program* my question is why other women allow them to. Men cannot cheat if they do not have willing participants to help them cheat. So why do we as women allow men to dictate our worth.

I am sorry there is no woman I respect who is allowing herself to be a cheater's partner. Yes, there will be those who claim I have never been in such a situation where the man was my soul mate so I should be quiet. Actually you would be wrong there. I do not know why but throughout my whole life (yes I think even as young as 15 I matured fast dont judge me!!) married/taken men have always been attracted to me. I honestly do not get the attraction because I do not think I encourage it. The whole point of that is to let you know that yes I have been through that temptation and so I am not simply ranting out the side of my mouth when I say one can turn down these men and be all the better for it.

What do you get? Money? Cars? Material wealth? I guess if that is your end goal in life then well done, you will/might achieve all that preying on married men. (but think about it, the wife always gets more :) ref. Tiger vs Tiger.) So if we are going on the business model, isnt it better to be a wife? Or do you hope to steal this man from his wife? (seriously apart from Angelina Jolie *who might get hers soon enough* how many instances does this happen?) Also remember how you got him is how you usually lose him :).

I am not naive or ignorant enough to think that simply talking to people will let them realize the "error" of their ways with cheating and the encouraging of cheating. I simply want to try to understand (and judge) women who have so little self control and respect for themselves that they will be willing to be second place. Being alone sucks, having no one you can count on sucks, but doesnt it suck more when you have someone who is just "play"-ing with you and your emotions? At the end of the day he goes back to his "family" and you are left alone...how can that be a life?

I have always said that I would rather be single than be a mistress for anyone that is my personal conviction and my belief. I judge mistresses and people who cheat with the belief that they will be the main chick. Relationships on their own are hard enough without meddling Meddlesomes...do not encourage the cheaters(or Tiger's lol)...Pray and wait for yours...God knows best for you, do not settle for human second best you will just regret it in the long run. I am going to leave you with this incredibly sappy story about true love and sacrifice, do not focus on the feasibility but rather try to feel how the key players felt...and women lets close our legs, minds and hearts to married/taken men.

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

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