In no particular order of course:
1. HIS Friends especially his Best Friend(s) are not yours!!!
Lets think about this. Who is a friend? Someone who is supposed to "have your back unconditionally". At least that is what a GOOD friend is supposed to. Usually guys have had their friends from since they were children playing in the sandlot...and guys are traditionally more loyal than females so chances are these guys have been through everything and anything together. Now insert you!...What makes you think that he is going to put the well being of his "friend" over YOU? While you are dating, if you are lucky enough, these so called friends of your "boy" might be nice to you, seem to care about the well being of your relationship blah blah blah...Im telling you right now DONT BUY IT! They could care less about what you are dealing with or going through and chances are, if they are immature enough, they will just use all you tell them as ammunition against you one day! DONT DO IT!!!...If you need a friend to talk to call one of your OWN or go see a Priest! or a Shrink...whatever works for you.
2. Its you and Me against the World
Well not really...its you and your significant other and a few of his friends and a few of your frienda against the world. One of my exes used to get upset when I would "draw" people into disagreements that we might have and I never understood why. Now I get it...too many cooks really spoil the broth! If you are having an issue with your significant other why do others need to be involved. It is not an issue of who is right versus who is wrong or who can scream the loudest or a score keeping competition. If you are really interested in figuring a solution to a problem you are having then it makes sense that you sit and talk it out with said significant other and leave the others out of it. On the other hand if you have a significant other (like one of my exes who would refuse to discuss anything because he hated confrontation then you need to evaluate that relationship and either get out while you can or get out while you can. That guy is going nowhere with you.
3. Sleeping while under the Influence
Aka Going to bed Angry! Another one of my exes (dont judge me) always used to say...never go to bed angry and I always used to ignore him. For me sleeping gave me a time to cool off and then the next day we can continue fighting. See where my mistake was? Why do you want to prolong a fight? it is perfectly ok to agree to disagree and keep things moving. Never go to bed angry though, only God knows if one of you will make it through the night, do you really want the last thing you ever told the one you love to be a mean or a foul word over something as trivial as (Whatever you were fighting about? ) Cause trust me once they are gone you will realize that whatever the issue was...it could have been worked out. So DONT do it...even if you CANT STAND the person that minute before Bed give them a hug understand you cant stand them but remember why you love them and go to bed with a GOOD feeling...the next day dont bring the drama up. New day new battles!
4. Whats yours is mine and whats mine is mine to keep
If you care about your significant other then whats yours is for the both of you (plus an extra on the side for JUST you ) and whats his is for the both of your (with an extra on the side for just that person). Being financially stable is something that I think a lot of couples do not think or worry about (initially) and then it becomes a problem once the relationship is in full swing. While you are in the pretty stages of the honeymoon phase, observe the relationship your significant other has with money. Are they wasteful? A Spendthrift? A miser? Take all these things into account and see how compatible their money handling skills are. There is no way a wasteful person is going to be happy with a miser without some serious compromises on both sides!!! Etc. Etc. You need to talk about the money and how you both handle it before any useful relationship should progress. I understand that sometimes its uncomfortable but it is better to have that moment of uncomfort rather than waste time then realize you cant "stand" each other because someone is "too cheap" or "doesnt know the value of a buck".
5. If you stand for nothing you will fall for anything
Know what your morals and values are. I read this joke once (sexist) which talked about a man who asked a woman if she would sleep with him for a million dollars. The woman of course agreed. He then asked if she would sleep with him for $5 to which she replied, "What do you take me for". The man said, well we know what you are we are now just haggling over the price. EXACTLY! Learn to have morals and stick with those moral convictions come Hell or High water because at the end of the day if you dont have something you can hold on to in this world of ever changing moral codes and boundaries you will truly become lost in it all. Faith is another important aspect of this, know your faith and hold on to it because in the end when all is said and done, it is this faith that will see you through. Some people say you can love someone without it interferring with your faith or theirs. I dont think this is true. (At least not for me). In order to love someone you have to love ALL aspects of that individual including their faith, and unfortunately sometimes these faiths do not mesh out nicely. Lets take me for example. What would happen if i fell in love with an atheist? It would not work...why? Because for me (even if I am not constantly shouting it on roof tops) I believe strongly that everything I am, I was and I will be is by the grace of God. When certain situations occur that I know are only by grace, my significant other chalking it up to opportunity or luck to me would be insulting to my God who has blessed me with that particular grace. How do i expect the blessings to keep flowing when I am choosing to label it 'luck'? I could write a whole essay on this particular topic but that isnt necessary my main point is this, find someone whose faith is compatible with yours so at the end of the day whatever happens you are looking at it from the same spiritual "worldview" or perspective so no one feels cheated out of anything.
This is the list for today...I might come up with some more tomorrow...the most important thing to remember is the fact that we are all thinking, feeling, human beings, treat another as you would like to be treated. A gentle word here, a kind gesture there may seem like nothing much to you but trust me it goes a long way.
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