I have not yet been blessed with children but in interacting with my friends that have children, the one thing I have come to realize is that it is not a JOKE nor is it EASY! It is through these interactions about their children, talking to them about what to teach the children, what not to teach them etc. etc. that I am continually wowed by how amazing my parents were as parents. Of course they weren't perfect...ok who are we kidding they are 'bloody awesome' lol but seriously now I am older I appreciate even more their parenting skills. I am going to share a couple of tricks they used and give concrete reasons why I believe these aided shape and mold me into the person that I absolutely love that I am. (You love me too...you really really do!)
I want to be an armed robber when I grow up:
“To dream anything that you want to dream. That's the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed. Bernard Edmonds
Why crush your children dreams even as unrealistic as they may seem at the time? Let it grow, in time your child as smart as they are will learn to modify that dream and even if they don't modify it allow them to dream always and to dream BIG! Need I remind you about Obama?
For the longest time ever, my baby brother was convinced he either wanted to be an armed robber or in the military, one or the other but definitely something to do with guns. I can remember us all laughing at him at the time because obviously these two 'ventures' can not even be measured in the same way. One was on the good side (depending on who you ask) and the other was on the bad side (the armed robber of course). But the one thing I remember distinctly is that my parents never tried to take that vision from him. I think ultimately they realized that it wasn't about the violence etc. but rather the dedication and skill and leadership attributes that my brother loved about these two different 'occupations'. This notion was solidified in later years when he finally agreed that he wanted to be the President lol. What is my point with the above? Well unfortunately sometimes Parents in a bid to be the best parents possible and to give one what they feel is the best advantage, push you into a box. Maybe this box will work for you and you will turn out as amazing as they did, but in other situations these boxes or pre cut cookie disks don't work and leave both sides frustrated. The parents feeling disrespected, abused, taken for granted and the children as if nothing they do will be respected. Parents allow your children to dream and make their own mistakes. They learn from them.
Growing up my parents never used the word CANT when it came to anything and infact they encouraged us to try everything at least once. My father could not stand someone dismissing something without trying it to see what exactly about it they did not like. Sometimes I wished they had laid down the "law" no pun intended a bit more and not allowed us to "free base" as much as we did but I love the fact that they allowed us to grow creatively. Growing up if you had said I would be the child studying for a PhD I am sure you would have been laughed out of our house. I was not the smart child I did not get the A's, I talked too much in class, I am sure I was any parents big headache. But by focusing my energies in creative outlets and making sure to never compare me to either of my siblings ( My C's and B's were celebrated as much as my brothers A's lol) my parents pushed me to want more and to work harder towards this "more". Yes my parents arent perfect but in not putting in my a pre cut cookie disk, aka ( As a woman you will do this and that, be married by this age, work in this field, come home at this point in time) they have allowed me to grow, realize my big mistakes (even though they help me correct these mistakes), and be an individual apart from them. In the long run what this individuality has afforded me is the fact that I cannot, rather I do not make a move without consulting them first. See in the end I am doing precisely what any parent wants without the pain and tears lol.
Children are not stupid. They come into this world as a clean slate and it is the responsibility of the people around them to instill and nurture in them everything positive. This is the reason why back home a child is given the name of someone "useful" in society. We want our children to grow up to emulate that individual, to be that individual with a few edits here and there. As I said before, I have not been blessed to have a child (yet) but I think the most important lesson I have learnt from my parents is not to ever kill a child's dream or aspirations. Never say never, if the child wants to grow up to be a lion who flies, then so be it. The world is such a negative place filled with too many you cants, you shouldnt, they wont let you. Do you really want to take away the joy of the freedom to be who or what your child wants to be at such an early age? Don't do it!!!! Enhance your child's creativity, sign them up for a multitude of things, sports, painting, dancing, piano, second language, watch what they excel in and encourage them in it. Trust me when they grow up they will be well rounded and thank you for it. Growing up I don't think I had a second free in my day, while my mates were sitting behind TV screens I was 'hating' my Piano teaching or 'hating' my Math professor (who I should technically still hate because till today I cant do Maths to save my life) lol. Yes it seemed a lot and I hated being so busy but guess what...my ass was in bed sleeping at 8 everynight without my parents begging and pleading lol. Those smart parents!!!! lol
My big lesson here is simply this...encourage your children and any children you know always. Inspire them with your actions and never kill their dreams. There are many more Obama's out there that can grow to fulfill their ultimate purpose if You and I teach them never to embrace the word CANT!!!
I want to be an armed robber when I grow up:
“To dream anything that you want to dream. That's the beauty of the human mind. To do anything that you want to do. That is the strength of the human will. To trust yourself to test your limits. That is the courage to succeed. Bernard Edmonds
Why crush your children dreams even as unrealistic as they may seem at the time? Let it grow, in time your child as smart as they are will learn to modify that dream and even if they don't modify it allow them to dream always and to dream BIG! Need I remind you about Obama?
For the longest time ever, my baby brother was convinced he either wanted to be an armed robber or in the military, one or the other but definitely something to do with guns. I can remember us all laughing at him at the time because obviously these two 'ventures' can not even be measured in the same way. One was on the good side (depending on who you ask) and the other was on the bad side (the armed robber of course). But the one thing I remember distinctly is that my parents never tried to take that vision from him. I think ultimately they realized that it wasn't about the violence etc. but rather the dedication and skill and leadership attributes that my brother loved about these two different 'occupations'. This notion was solidified in later years when he finally agreed that he wanted to be the President lol. What is my point with the above? Well unfortunately sometimes Parents in a bid to be the best parents possible and to give one what they feel is the best advantage, push you into a box. Maybe this box will work for you and you will turn out as amazing as they did, but in other situations these boxes or pre cut cookie disks don't work and leave both sides frustrated. The parents feeling disrespected, abused, taken for granted and the children as if nothing they do will be respected. Parents allow your children to dream and make their own mistakes. They learn from them.
Growing up my parents never used the word CANT when it came to anything and infact they encouraged us to try everything at least once. My father could not stand someone dismissing something without trying it to see what exactly about it they did not like. Sometimes I wished they had laid down the "law" no pun intended a bit more and not allowed us to "free base" as much as we did but I love the fact that they allowed us to grow creatively. Growing up if you had said I would be the child studying for a PhD I am sure you would have been laughed out of our house. I was not the smart child I did not get the A's, I talked too much in class, I am sure I was any parents big headache. But by focusing my energies in creative outlets and making sure to never compare me to either of my siblings ( My C's and B's were celebrated as much as my brothers A's lol) my parents pushed me to want more and to work harder towards this "more". Yes my parents arent perfect but in not putting in my a pre cut cookie disk, aka ( As a woman you will do this and that, be married by this age, work in this field, come home at this point in time) they have allowed me to grow, realize my big mistakes (even though they help me correct these mistakes), and be an individual apart from them. In the long run what this individuality has afforded me is the fact that I cannot, rather I do not make a move without consulting them first. See in the end I am doing precisely what any parent wants without the pain and tears lol.
Children are not stupid. They come into this world as a clean slate and it is the responsibility of the people around them to instill and nurture in them everything positive. This is the reason why back home a child is given the name of someone "useful" in society. We want our children to grow up to emulate that individual, to be that individual with a few edits here and there. As I said before, I have not been blessed to have a child (yet) but I think the most important lesson I have learnt from my parents is not to ever kill a child's dream or aspirations. Never say never, if the child wants to grow up to be a lion who flies, then so be it. The world is such a negative place filled with too many you cants, you shouldnt, they wont let you. Do you really want to take away the joy of the freedom to be who or what your child wants to be at such an early age? Don't do it!!!! Enhance your child's creativity, sign them up for a multitude of things, sports, painting, dancing, piano, second language, watch what they excel in and encourage them in it. Trust me when they grow up they will be well rounded and thank you for it. Growing up I don't think I had a second free in my day, while my mates were sitting behind TV screens I was 'hating' my Piano teaching or 'hating' my Math professor (who I should technically still hate because till today I cant do Maths to save my life) lol. Yes it seemed a lot and I hated being so busy but guess what...my ass was in bed sleeping at 8 everynight without my parents begging and pleading lol. Those smart parents!!!! lol
My big lesson here is simply this...encourage your children and any children you know always. Inspire them with your actions and never kill their dreams. There are many more Obama's out there that can grow to fulfill their ultimate purpose if You and I teach them never to embrace the word CANT!!!
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