I am lusting for the most perfect tuxedo/evening jacket possible. I want something chic I can throw on to add that extra "oompf " to an outfit during this fall/winter season. I have seen some interesting jackets but nothing that has called out to me yet. The middle jacket in this picture looks like it might do the trick so I will go investigating.Today's topic ties into my essential theme of trying to understand human interactions. I try to understand LOVE, yes that all encompassing term. I try to break it down into tiny little specks I can over analyze. Come along for the ride, it should be interesting.
So what is love?Well love as is going to be discussed is love based on C.S. Lewis's book Four Loves in which he which explores the nature of love from a Christian perspective. Lewis identifies and gives a thorough discussion of the 4 Greek words for love, namely Storge (affection), Phileo (Friendship), Eros and Agape (Charity). Now note that we are only going to be touching on these different types of loves slightly. You could get a dissertation from this topic and I do not have the time to go into an in-depth discussion. Consider this post as a cliff notes discussion :).
Ok let's start with Storge or affection. This is love that is based on familiarity and is usually found between family members or people who find themselves in the same place etc. As you can imagine with this type of love (familiar) love, it is seen as very natural. You do not necessarily always like your family members, but you will always love them and that is just how the dice rolls. It can be good in that you know wherever you go and whatever you do, there are a group of people that always "have your back". The bad side to this, however, occurs when people start to take this natural love for granted and expect their family members to be there for them after they have abused the familial love and bond. I am sure we can all remember ways that our family members have done things to hurt our very core, and yet still we love them in spite of this.
Phileo or friendship is the second definition of love. This love is based on friendship. This bond is formed when people who have the same interests get together and are bonded by this same interest. Phileo is not sexual, it is just the deep and true understanding of everything friendship is meant to be. In its broadest terms I guess we could label this "brotherly or sisterly" love we have for one another.
Eros is the ah ha love, some refer to it as erotic love. This is the love we think we mean when we say I am in love!! The butterflies in the tummy, the jittery feeling yadda yadda yadda. Horny love. What is interesting about this love, however, is the fact that it is motivated by a need. What do I mean? Well Eros thrives on everything that we seemingly have ascribed to "love". This is what I need for me to feel I am in love with you, you must have A, B, C etc. so long as these conditions are met, then I remain in love. Once these conditions change then love goes. Eros is deep and passionate but can be very fickle. (Current divorce rates anyone?)
The last (and fittingly so) love is Agape, what we should all strive to have. Agape or charity is the love that exists regardless of any limits we want to place on it. That love exists regardless of circumstances, i.e., it is selfless. Usually when the Bible talks about love this is the love it is referring to. The pure love which gives all and expects nothing in return. God is love is referring to this love. God is Agape, he loves mankind despite the fact that there is nothing that WE can do for HIM. In discussing Agape, Richard L. Strauss notes that, "it is a love which keeps loving when its object is unresponsive, unkind, unlovable, or completely unworthy… it gives one hundred percent and expects nothing in return!"
All this sounds pretty simple right? We love our family, we love our friends, we lust after hot people and God loves us.... then we die! Life does not work out that way. In fact life should not work out that way. All these loves in their own way satisfy a need and a purpose but what we should be striving for in all aspects of our lives is Agape love, the love that exists without a purpose. This love ensures that when our family members do things that hurt us, we are able to recognize the hurt and yet truly keep it moving. This love ensures that when our friends mistreat us and abuse our friendship, we are able to recognize this and not respond in kind but still treat them how we would want to be treated. This love ensures that instead of looking at every hunk like he is red meat I want to devour I actually remember that I am not my own. I have been purchased for a price and my body is a wonderland. (lol) I keed, I keed...my body is a temple :). (Sigh, the lust thing is not easy)
If we are able to eliminate all these other loves, and truly interact with each other based on Agape, the world would truly be a better place. Agape especially in relationships means that, as Lewis points out in discussing husbands and the role they play as heads of a family:
This headship, then, is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion, whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is—in her own mere nature—least lovable. For the church has no beauty but what the Bridegroom gives her; he does not find, but makes her, lovely. The chrism of this terrible coronation is to be seen not in the joys of any man’s marriage but in its sorrows, in the sickness and sufferings of a good wife or the faults of a bad one, in his unwearying (never paraded) care or his inexhaustible forgiveness: forgiveness, not acquiescence.
Agape as I have said before need not apply to only one aspect of our life. Indeed it should apply to all aspects of our lives. As Jesus said:
"You have heard that it was said, 'Love (agape) your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love (agape) your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? — Matthew 5:43-46 (NIV)"
Jesus makes a lot of sense doesnt he? Ok so lets do it.... La di da, we wish it and it happens. Not the case (sadly). Agape is not as easy as just wishing for it. It takes time, it takes patience and above all it takes a whole lot of praying. It is so easy to just be content with what you have, ok he or she is a good friend and lets keep it at that, when you could have so much more in treating that friend with agape love.
Ok so not to go on and on, this is the essence of what I am writing about today. The world is hurting, it is in a lot of pain, you know it and I know it. Child trafficking, people sold into prostitution, wars, gang rapes, murders, genocide, homicides, suicides, matricide, patricide, pollution, depression, perversion, I could go on and on. We all seem content to sit in our little corners, shake our heads and keep it moving. This should not be the case. Reject the norm, try to Be different and thereby Do things differently. It is not enough to claim we are Christians when we do not live with a greater purpose than to satisfy our own needs. Be bigger and better than that...please.
‘HEAR, O ISRAEL! THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD; AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH.’ “The second is this, YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ There is no other commandment greater than these...
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