This really cute Indigo Vixen Clutch by Libertas is too cute. I can see it dressed up with a nice pair of slacks or even the standard little black dress. I can also see it dressed down and with a pair of jeans and some heels thrown on. *Sigh* at $209 *gulp* yeah it will have to evade my wardrobe for now...but I can still dream...*ahhhhhh*...moving right along.
Personal rant: Ok whatever evil spirit has my name in its grips and has decided to torment me with all sorts of break outs and allergic reactions...I see you and I got something for you!!! Thank God for make up!! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Seriously though cant wait to go see a dermatologist get the necessary tests done and be rid of these annoyances!!!
Ok so I am getting really bummed about this lack of job situation. You know its all fun and curly pig tails until it really hits you that no one is calling and you dont have a job and your money is about to run out!!!!!!! I hate whining about things that cannot be fixed so I am trying my best not to whine but I am very very stressed and not so happy :( my booboo is a good distraction though :)...God works in mysterious ways. If you had told me X amount of weeks ago that someone will be distracting me from my non working blues I would have laughed at you ( a LOT!) But all the distractions (friends et. al) has been good for me so I have to be thankful for even that :).
Ok now I am done with the sucking up, (yes its a contractual obligation I have to suck up to the so called friends ever so often or they get antsy lol) we can get to the real stuff. Today it is about Trust. I think Trust is one of the reasons being single is so comfortable, if you do not let anyone in, then no one can hurt you n'est ce pas? This year (2010) has really been the year of homewrecker's and cheating scandals which push this issue of trust to the fore front of everyone's mind. Now I could go the usual route and point fingers at the different genders, oh men cheat more or women cheat more blah blah but thats not my problem or issue. The topic of cheating and trust in general is the main issue. What is it that pushes people to be dishonest to themselves and the people they are involved with?
Granted no one in any sort of relationship (not only romantic situations) wants to know that their services are no longer required lol (to put it nicely) but I warrant that people would rather know and deal with it than be lied to. Having being in situations/relationships where I have had my trust shattered and having shattered the trust of other people, I know this is behavior I am not interested in engaging in. For me honesty now is my best policy. I would rather lay it all out there and let you decide how you want to react. These good intentions on my part does not necessarily mean the people I involve myself with will reciprocate and that is VERY scary. I can't even lie and say its not.
What can I do about this?
Well my initial (human) reaction was to try to control everything, question everything, try to find ways to tag people to know where they are constantly. Well as Naa (circa 2002-2003) showed, you can chase someone and know where he is at all times and his ass will still cheat. I am of the school of thought that if someone is going to cheat on you, nothing is going to prevent it, they will find a way to cheat. Ok so what is the alternative? Not care? Well that could be a good alternative although if you do not care then why bother knowing the person? Why bother including them in your inner circle? So again no...and finally I hit on the perfect solution (for me).
Just let it go. Leave it all to God. (I'll pause so you get all the laughing out then continue). Ok are you done? Let me explain my reasoning to you. I think usually when we put our human element into relationships that is what ends up ruining it because at the end of the day what are humans? We are just selfish beings. We don't love and respect the other for what they truly are, we simply want to edit them to be a reflection of ourselves so we can look at them and preen and fuss about what a good job we have done. Think about it, what are fights? A resistance. One party is refusing/resisting an element of change. Do we agree on this at least? If we do then here's the alternative.
God knows best. (If you don't agree please get lost and never come back *said in the most loving way I can say it*)...now if God knows best and he is the one who puts you with someone then if you ask for his help in keeping on the right path with that person, don't you think God will listen to you? People pray for cars, more money, jobs, good partners, friends etc. now when you get the good people in your life why cant you pray to KEEP them in there? I believe strongly in praying for people (good) to surround one's life. I thought I had some "friends" and during an interesting show and tell period with God I asked him to show me my true friends and the people I had left out of those I called Friends were surprising lol.
Trust is a key/integral part of any relationship. No one wants their trust to be abused and I believe you find true love when you can learn to truly trust another believing and trusting in God first because even if (wo)man is fallible, God is infallible. I truly believe that if one or the two of however many are in the relationship immerse said relationship in God then nothing they aspire for that relationship will be lacking. This is soooo NOT easy...(and I should know). There are many issues I am dealing with or trying to deal with when it comes to inviting God in and still having a "fun" relationship ill let you know how that goes lol.
So to wrap up...no one can control the actions of another, you fall for people because of who they are and not because of how much you can change them. (I hope). I have entrusted all my relationships to God looking and learning at the same time. Stay tuned for the results. :)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.—Galatians 5:22-23
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