Lets Build something together :)

These Jil Sander asymmetrical satin sandals make my heart flutter in special places ...*sighs* and they can make yours flutter too for the *low* *low* price of $322...60% off its original $805 price tag...come on sigh with me...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ok now moving on...how do Men approach you? Well let me tell you how it goes down for me... and the approaches I think do not work. I have truly never had a man/suitor attack problem. I have been told that my "face" usually deters would be suitors (and usually the few that get the balls to come up are more up for Talas bubbly personality than my cold self)...Anyways so my Tala was not around to save me yesterday and for the first time in a long time I was the recipient of mucho attention.

Now in all honesty I thought I was just going to hang out with my friends so I dressed with that in mind, if I had known we would be chilling with other people I might have worn something different...but then there were girls there who were practically naked so it wasn't my clothing...

Lets talk about the approaches and the reactions. Maybe because I am at the beginning stages of getting to know someone I like, that has given me tunnel vision. But I would like to think that if I was hit with the "right" approach then that would motivate me to give the other guys a chance.

1. The overly aggressive guy who seems to never get the girl:
We always hear that the nicest guys finish last. I don't quite agree!!! Nice guys can finish first if they play their cards right. You can be a nice guy, be a gentleman, offer me your seat, get me a drink but then know when to give me my space. There were a lot of nice guys but they seemed more interested in oogling my legs...thats not a cute look then you make the girl feel like a piece of meat...ok i guess they werent really nice guys...onto to the next kind...

2. The guy whose only worth is his net worth:

We get it, you are rich, you can afford everything. If you are stupid guess what, that ability to afford anything and everything is not a plus anymore. You just become fodder for good Gold diggers. Switch it up, read a book once in awhile, the Internet has made learning fun, pick a topic, any topic that interests you and read up and become knowledgeable about that topic.

3. Mr. I am a Gangster Thug:

The ones who come up with the "hey Ma's" and overly aggressive stance like we are supposed to be engaging in an MMA fight and not a conversation. SOOOOO NOT sexy!!! I don't know how many women still want the cave man approach...me like me hit you on the head me take you home now. Learn some manners, learn to smile, learn some vocabulary in addition to the Hey ma...

4. The timid one:

The guy who is usually very cute but behaves so shy it reduces it cute potential SIGNIFICANTLY!...This isnt a war, if you approach you the most I can say is be gone...(and that is the WORST case scenario. By standing in the corner and staring me down that is not sexy its creepy...change up your game...

5. Mr. Popular:

AKA Mr. I can get any girl in here so you should feel privileged I decided to approach you. These men approach you like a business merger. Everything is in terms of what YOU can do for THEM since they are all that anyways. *Sigh*...Be gone...No girl/woman wants to feel like the only relevance she plays in a man's life is to play the silent pretty girlfriend. Ok maybe some women like it I dont.

Getting back into the dating scene is very interesting especially coming from a communication and gender communication specialization. One could say I over analyze everything but my response would be typical ..."research has shown that..." lol...well we wait to see what other kind of men I meet over this summer period and if you are any one of these men described here, please SWITCH it up! You are not doing yourself any favors. :)

Its not you, its me...ok maybe it is you...ok its definitely you...

I have been on the look out for some fly wedges ...I figure I have enough stilettos plus wedges are more comfortable all day everyday so one does not bust her ass like Lady Gaga...Ok I laughed only once...sigh...you could not pay me enough to deal with the fashion drama she cooks up for herself, I would take Rhianna's comfy looks over her anyday...(and I do not even like rhi rhi like that)... side note anyone else think it is so creepy that Chris's ex looks a bit too much like Rhi? Here is Rhi and here is Jasmine...creepy...anyways neither Chris nor Rhi are putting any money in my account for paying attention to their lives so its right along I move...

So you know how I said this was the year for trying "something new"...well I dont know how "new" I am trying to get it. I think someone up in heaven just found my love button and is just messing with it to see how far it can go. So far I have met a gentleman thug (like the very Kuntrified kind) he knows he is very country which gets a *side eye* from the supposed *bougie* me but he is sweet so I say why not get to know him. I have an "old" friend who cannot seem to make up his mind when it comes to me, i.e., he cant seem to decide if he wants to date me or not, and I in turn will only agree to date him if he will let me make him over :)...I have 2 random guys I met online, one seems to get me but is seemingly obsessed with my body (which Francis says is a good thing) but I dont know, I mean my body is sick and all but ( I kid, I kid)...and another who seems on paper to be everything I should be jumping at, but there is absolutely no connection for me.( oh and I would need to change his style also) ...oh and lets not forget all the crazy old men I meet who absolutely fall in love (maybe I am reincarnated and they knew me in a past life??) Now you see why I think I am being punked. I am sure if I put all these men together (minus the old ones) I would have an amazing man but on their own there is nothing special sticking out about these "interesting" men. Which leads me to ask when one knows when enough is enough? At what point do you stop sticking your neck out and just sit ?

Stay tuned to find out how it turns out with these interesting characters...in the mean time I think these are 3 cardinal rules that people break when they are trying to meet someone new...do you break these rules?

1. Pretend to be something you are not: I find women doing this more than men. All of a sudden a woman who never liked football suddenly knows all the stats and wants to go to all the games. Slow your roll I am not buying it. It is ok to be yourself, if your significant other (to be) doesn't appreciate these little things that make you unique you have no future.

2. Getting with them in the meantime because He/She will change eventually: hahhahaha haha hahhahahaha....that is me laughing at YOU and I will keep laughing till pigs fly. Give it up...there are some things are so a part of us there is nothing you can do to rid us of these things...

3. Downplaying the things you are willing to compromise on: why? seriously why bother you are just spelling trouble for yourself down the line, be as completely honest as possible so if things ever go South at least you know you gave it your best and you were completely you.

Ok this is a very long post so going to end it now with a random thought (and being in communication I should have figured this out by now but oh well here it goes)...why do guys have such a jacked up mentality when it comes to keeping in touch? My thinking is, if you cared you would get in touch, if I do not hear from you, you are a back issue but then I have guys call me after a month or so and then act shocked when I am over it...like dude really???really?? Am I supposed to sit and twiddle my thumbs whilst you do what you have to do? Child please...if anyone has an explanation other than its just what men do I will be interested to hear it...

*sigh* life...wish it came with a users guide...:)

Little Green eyed Monster...

I absolutely love the way Narciso Rodriguez designs his outfits. Theres always a little something to push the outfit to that sexy realm...and at $720 this dress right here is a steal...just not for me lol...I would have to STEAL it!! Now with thoughts of larceny put aside lets free style...

While someone (no names mentioned) was remembering her anniversary today it suddenly hit me that I haven't been in a relationship in a while... whilst you are in school trying to finish 12 credits (when the maximum amount of credits is 9) the last thing on your mind is a boy/man/boytoy. But suddenly when all that is gone if you are anything like me you stop and think oh wow ...where did the time go...I used to be such a social butterfly when did my wings get clipped and why wasnt I informed? I guess I could technically call someone and go out etc. etc. but the spirit isnt even willing and I think thats my biggest shocker. But then again do you blame me? The same old tired ass guys trying to convince you they own this and that and yet they are in wrinkled shirts...or little boys spilling drinks all over you trying to "spit" game...sitting right here with my slow jamz playing is exactly where I want to be...I think this is why ultimately I dont want to move to a big town or a party city where I feel I will be obligated to appear for "events"...Ill let you in on a secret...I would rather be in a little village (with no snow) than live somewhere like NYC...if I want to party Ill go party but I dont want to piss where I sleep or however that saying goes lol.

Ok I have written so much and this wasnt even the topic I wanted to go off on. Lets talk about something fun and useful...JEALOUSY! I have been extremely blessed in my life to not have jealousy be one of those things that have bugged me. Even in relationships I always told the guy I will not get jealous Ill get even and after the first time I got them back they didnt like it and didnt give me a reason to and everything was good. But yeah jealousy is an issue I have never had to seriously dealt with so imagine my surprise when today in scanning my life and the things going on in other peoples lives the first thing that crossed my mind was...how come this person has a job, or a man, or their papers and I dont. Why does everything have to be so hard for me (yeah the usual woe is me speech)...STOP THE PRESS!!! What the hell was I doing? My life could have gone so completely the other way...my graduation my purely by the grace of God because technically I missed the date to defend and during my defence one of my committee members was trying to be difficult...but you see human nature...once I got that hurdle crossed I had forgotten about how I begged God that I really really really wanted it more than anything else....and today I have the nerve to turn around and ask why me?...The voice that came back to remind me how very different things would be if I had not graduated shook me right back into reality.

Jealousy may be a human emotion but one I think we can control. Do not let this little evil emotion take control of your life, it just prevents you from focusing on other positive things you can be doing with yourself and your time because you are so busy worrying about everyone else and busy counting their blessings. No one knows what the other is truly going through in their lives...we only see the facade they want us to see...so dont be like me and fall into jealousy's trap it is not worth it...I leave you now with this quote that I use to realign the senses when I start getting stuck on stupid...hope it helps you as much as it helps me :)

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative - self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. ~Jennifer James