Isnt this dress absolutely too cute? I think it would be oh so perfect for that day around town with the girls. Its by Preen and its the Hound Power dress which you can find on the Outnet for a mere $448. Happy Shopping :).I have been horrible with updating but no fears I am here now and have a juicy topic for us today. Boundaries and appropriate language in and some of them even apply to being out of relationships. Fresh off a juicy conversation with a friend I shall not name (:p) who wants to know how women handle inappropriateness from their mates...You know my first thing was to say beat him (I keed I keed, I do not advocate violence EVER ...*side eye*)...lol...Ok so typical disclaimer, the views presented here are garnered from my own observations and interactions with men and women. I know that not ALL men fall under certain categorizations just as not ALL women fall under certain categorizations, same goes for the couples. So if you disagree with anything said here, do not come up with the..."not all men or not all women or the not all couples..." this is an observation on the ones I have seen/interacted with. Stop projecting your guilty conscience on me. Now moving right along.
Granted every relationship has its own code of conduct (which both parties have agreed to, how many times do we (yes we all do) look at couples funny when they seem to exhibit characteristics of a non traditional nature. For example, I have been in situations where the man would hit on me right in front of his "woman" and she would not say or do anything. I guess for her, the justification lies in the fact that she gets to go home with him at the end of it all. *side eye*
No man (yet) has been ballsy enough to hit on me when I have my boyfriend around but that is probably because said boyfriends are a. mean and scary looking or b. I am so wrapped up with said boyfriends that other men do not have the chance to slip in. (I think my boyfriends would prefer to think its b but we all know better :).
Back to what I was saying. I have also witnessed situations where one partner (male or female) spazzes out because the other partner was being too flirtatious with a member of the opposite sex whilst they were around. (Very awkward situation for the third party who is just sitting there). I can't actually I wont lie, when I was younger (Kiki hates that word), I would have my bouts/fits of jealous moments, (which were all justified because the dumbasses (sorry I mean my beloved men) were cheating!!!!!) So it was justifiable jealousy. (At this point I need to insert another disclaimer, exes do not bother with the I never cheated blah blah...you did and I dont hate you so get over it...!!!) Now back to what I was saying...
Anyways so what are your opinions? Are there relationship traditional standards/appropriateness levels that must be obeyed/followed? i.e.,
For men: do we expect our men never to call another woman baby,(M, I am looking at you) honey, (whatever term of endearment you use), compliment her lips. hips, thighs, breast, ass or any other part of her body or insinuate anything sexual ever!(E *sigh*)
For women: do we expect our another man honey, baby (whatever term of endearment you use), or insinuate anything sexual ever! (yes in all fairness I am guilty of some of this, sometimes but it is always Francis's fault)
Or should you and your mate have a sit down and agree on the do's and don't of that particular relationship? BUT WAIT (Call in the next 20 minutes and receive an additional...) lol no ... I have a problem with the above. For most men ( it seems), talk is just that, talk, and they do not see the harm in it and so they are able to draw the line perilously close to inappropriateness (well talk is talk until it is their woman talking to some other man :)) can we say double standards? Women on the other hand (based on conversations and the fact that I am a woman) seem to draw the line close to the line of appropriateness. (Yes I know some women who will allow a man to talk to them as if they were single and not see anything wrong with it) but we are talking in general here.
So...what to do, what to do? How do we approach relationships in a way that the men will not complain about having a "baby-literally" for a girlfriend, and the women will not need to snoop for ammo that shows the man disrespecting her *dont judge me I was young and supposedly in love* And spare me the speech about if you need to worry about all this, then 'yinz' are not supposed to be together. I am talking about the real world where real goes down. Not every man/woman who engages in such behavior has been told that it is problematic!!!
So what to do...what to do...in the real world at least....Stop taking people for granted.!!!There are so many people who do not have someone to call their own (by choice or by circumstance), if you have been blessed (depending on who you ask) to find someone, do you really think mistreating and disrespecting them with inappropriate talk and action is the way to go?
For women we have all the power we need in simply being women of substance and character: Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies, the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. She will do him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land" Proverbs 31:10-31. Because "he who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord" Proverbs 18:22. And "house and riches are the inheritance of fathers, and a prudent wife is from the Lord" Proverbs 19:14.
For men:Husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of live, that your prayers be not hindered" II Peter 3:7.She is not weaker in character and intellect, but she is weaker physically and man must understand her needs and limitations. He must also be aware of her ability to help him. He must also use his abilities in helping her. Wise men show an interest when their wives speak up, and weigh their wisdom, for many times their wisdom out-weighs that of their mates. Sometimes we rob ourselves of the happiness our heavenly father intended for us because we have not learned to enjoy the companionship of our Godly mates.Source
I would hope my man knows better than to oogle, proposition, or say something inappropriate to another female in and out of my presence but one cannot control another, you can merely show by example which means I cannot oogle, proposition or say something inappropriate to another man in and out of his presence. *sigh*...Think about it....
There's one sad truth in life I've found while journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know, we please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow to those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Anyways so what are your opinions? Are there relationship traditional standards/appropriateness levels that must be obeyed/followed? i.e.,
For men: do we expect our men never to call another woman baby,(M, I am looking at you) honey, (whatever term of endearment you use), compliment her lips. hips, thighs, breast, ass or any other part of her body or insinuate anything sexual ever!(E *sigh*)
For women: do we expect our another man honey, baby (whatever term of endearment you use), or insinuate anything sexual ever! (yes in all fairness I am guilty of some of this, sometimes but it is always Francis's fault)
Or should you and your mate have a sit down and agree on the do's and don't of that particular relationship? BUT WAIT (Call in the next 20 minutes and receive an additional...) lol no ... I have a problem with the above. For most men ( it seems), talk is just that, talk, and they do not see the harm in it and so they are able to draw the line perilously close to inappropriateness (well talk is talk until it is their woman talking to some other man :)) can we say double standards? Women on the other hand (based on conversations and the fact that I am a woman) seem to draw the line close to the line of appropriateness. (Yes I know some women who will allow a man to talk to them as if they were single and not see anything wrong with it) but we are talking in general here.
So...what to do, what to do? How do we approach relationships in a way that the men will not complain about having a "baby-literally" for a girlfriend, and the women will not need to snoop for ammo that shows the man disrespecting her *dont judge me I was young and supposedly in love* And spare me the speech about if you need to worry about all this, then 'yinz' are not supposed to be together. I am talking about the real world where real goes down. Not every man/woman who engages in such behavior has been told that it is problematic!!!
So what to do...what to do...in the real world at least....Stop taking people for granted.!!!There are so many people who do not have someone to call their own (by choice or by circumstance), if you have been blessed (depending on who you ask) to find someone, do you really think mistreating and disrespecting them with inappropriate talk and action is the way to go?
For women we have all the power we need in simply being women of substance and character: Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies, the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. She will do him good, and not evil, all the days of her life. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land" Proverbs 31:10-31. Because "he who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord" Proverbs 18:22. And "house and riches are the inheritance of fathers, and a prudent wife is from the Lord" Proverbs 19:14.
For men:Husbands, dwell with them (your wives) according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of live, that your prayers be not hindered" II Peter 3:7.She is not weaker in character and intellect, but she is weaker physically and man must understand her needs and limitations. He must also be aware of her ability to help him. He must also use his abilities in helping her. Wise men show an interest when their wives speak up, and weigh their wisdom, for many times their wisdom out-weighs that of their mates. Sometimes we rob ourselves of the happiness our heavenly father intended for us because we have not learned to enjoy the companionship of our Godly mates.Source
I would hope my man knows better than to oogle, proposition, or say something inappropriate to another female in and out of my presence but one cannot control another, you can merely show by example which means I cannot oogle, proposition or say something inappropriate to another man in and out of his presence. *sigh*...Think about it....
There's one sad truth in life I've found while journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know, we please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow to those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
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