I choose you...

I am dreaming about a nice statement bag and I think this is a definite contender. Its the basic bowler style bag I like and the discreet Y is cute too :). If your wallet is so inclined you can pick one up at Bluefly under Yves Saint Laurent. and just for the record if you can afford it I do not like you much right about now.

So the wedding is finally over, (though there may be another one around the corner soon enough yay!!! and no not mine lol (not yet at least)). And even though people say weddings are breeding grounds for hook ups (for single people) and a desire to have a wedding (for couples), that was not the case for me.

J teases me that the wedding has made me want mine even more but it is actually the opposite. Sitting there and listening to the actual vows etc. really shook me. Marriage is no JOKE. It really made me wonder if people listen to the vows they are repeating to each other. (divorce rates might be minimized if they knew what they were truly saying). These are some MAJOR things you are promising BEFORE God.

That whole ceremony (as lovely as it was) was a very sobering occassion. Can I really commit to all these things that will be expected of me?...*Initiate Panic mode* lol lol ...but as J says I do not have to worry about that for awhile and as mummy says "enjoy the process" so enjoy I shall.

The topic for today is in reference to one of the things we spoke about at the bachelorette/bridal dinner/hen night, the issue of knowing your man and deciding the things to compromise on. This was in reference to a couple of things. 1. Know your man in terms of his likes and dislikes. 2. Know your man in terms of his romantic level, i.e., do not be a fairytale lover and then look for love in a pragmatist.

1. Know your man/woman:

It is really hard to truly "know" someone but time helps with this one. Through sharing time together you are able to get to know the things your mate likes and dislikes. The verbal discussion on this is also important. There are some intrinsic things that your mate will like/dislike, it is necessary for you to know this and know how to deal with these things.

2. We were discussing the type of men we have come across, been fortunate to date etc. etc. and someone raised the issue of men and their romance levels. Having dating as much as I have (dont judge me), I have had a range of men with a range of romance levels, those who would send flowers (just because), those who would cook dinner, insist on a date night versus those who would not do all these things but then when push came to shove would be there to help me deal with a problem and be my rock all throughout that experience.

I did not think I had an opinion about what kind of guy I preferred, until we were discussing this at dinner. I honestly had not thought about that for awhile (being single and all)...but it is an interesting point to consider.

Would you date a man who did not always show you affection in what J would call everyday material things? Or do you need your man to show you he loves you (in addition to saying he loves you) by the everyday little random things he does? Now these things do not have to be mountain moving things, they could be as simple as a foot rub when you get home from work, a little love note when you wake up in the morning etc.

There are so many satirical articles about men and romance. If you were to believe the hype, romantic men are not naturally occurring elements, they either have been trained well, simply want to get into your pants etc. etc. whatever way they learn to become romantic men if in the end they are doing it for a good cause, then we women approve? (Or not?, I do!)

I think my father is the perfect combination of these two types of romantic men. He does the big things and the little things. (If he goes to a meeting and food is served, he keeps his to take back to the office to share with my mom, isnt that too cute?) thats the man I want. One who is able to in his own little way show me he is thinking about me and I matter to him but when the big things come, knows how to do these too...

Do you know what you want/need from your mate? Do you know what irks and what pleases said mate and finally what kind of man do you want and why?