Let's talk about Sex baby...

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So the title today pretty much gives you a hint of what today's topic is going to be about. Different people have different feelings about this topic. If you are Francis you will say hells yeah lets have sex, discussion over. If you are not Francis you will probably read on for what I have to say about my feelings about sex.

In talking to a variety of people about sex (their feelings about sex and their desire to partake in sex) what I have realized is that guys seem to be wanting it more (at least the guys I have spoken to) and women seem to not really care (or be over the whole sex thing). (I know I know, there are some men who do not care about sex and some women who want sex all the time).

So sex? What is your take on it? I was talking to a friend the other day, well I will call it an argument and he will probably call it a talk but tomato, tomahto...basically I thought/think it is wrong for one party to try to pressurize another party into having sex of any kind. He did not think it was a big deal. According to him, if at this age (plus 25) you were not having sex, then he did not think you were being realistic and you were naive. (Obviously I disagreed). Obviously Teyana Taylor's boyfriend is of the same mentality because she hinted that he dumped her because she would not give the goods up...see here.

Who is to tell me when they think I need to be having sex? I think that is the biggest problem from the get go. If you have to convince me to do something and I am not coming to it of my own free will and volition then I am being cheated. Human beings like the fact that they have free will, they can come and go as they please and in some countries say and do what they like without fear of repercussion. If this is the case, then why should it be any different in sex?

Someone said its different,"because sex involves two people" . I say well if it involves two people then those two people have to come at it wanting the same thing and not one party wanting and harping on it till the other one caves in. Call me crazy but isnt that simply bullying? I am not saying have sex ( I am saying don't unless there is a ring on it) and I am not saying dont have sex (I am saying Dont have sex unless there is a ring on it) all I am saying is people need to chill and stop trying to come up with smart reasons and excuses as to why someone else should have sex.

I find this more in men than in women, but then I have heard of situations where women have forced men into sex too. I think both cases are deplorable. Let's even forget the moral or religious aspect here and just focus on the "rightness" of this situation. ITS NOT FAIR! And then some people have the nerve to throw in there, "if you really loved me you would do it". The last guy that told me that got dumped, you want to know why? If HE really loved me then he would have respected my decision NOT to have sex. I was not saying I would never have sex, I simply said I did not believe in sex before marriage. If he wanted sex, then he simply had to put a ring on it :). Some guys think this is entrapment, hey if I can not have sex with your frigid self, I will find a girl who will give me sex without your hassle and without wanting a ring. To those men I say good luck and good riddance. Oh and I love the excuse I hear from a lot of insecure women, "but I love him and we will be together forever and ever and ever and ever and ever so its ok" umm...I say watch Teen mom on MTV. I think the smartest thing my brother ever told me is to trust no man! Well you can trust them but watch out for their demons :). If your love (and I use the word love here loosely) is going to last forever and ever then he can wait until you are ready. Sex should not be the impetus for someone to want to be with you or want to stay with you. No amount of sex is going to make a man/woman who just wants sex commit to any one else, they will just get it where they can. So try to make your relationships based on something else and sex when you are both ready can be the bonus, the icing on the cake.

Sex is a big deal to me not only from a religious perspective but because I think it is something very special that needs to be shared with someone special. There have been too many people who have told me they regret having sex before marriage because they wish they had held off and given themselves to that special person. Alternatively, what if you simply hate your ex, do you want to see that person and think that you shared your most intimate activity with that person that now pisses you off or disgusts you more than anything in the world?

I think about all my exes and thank God I did not have sex with any of them because now it all said and done I look at them all differently. The critics say, Marriages end too. Yes I know marriages end too, but that is not the natural progression. Boyfriends and fiance's can come and go, we were never supposed to say "oh yeah my marriage didn't work out" marriages were, and I hope it will be for me, a one time deal, you are in it and "death (natural) will do us part".

Some people may say I have a naive view about the way things ought to be and thats fine. I say whatever you do in your life make sure it is about YOU and you are ready to deal with the repercussions and responsibilities. Do not make another ever pressure you into any behavior or anything that you are not comfortable doing, being or seeing. It is as simple as that. And if you get the dreaded, "if you loved me you would" you should confidently reply, "and if you loved me you would not". Sex, relationship, love are all big deals that should not be taken lightly. Respect yourself and your decisions and stick to them, if people don't like you for anything else, at least they will like you for being consistent.

Proverbs 5:18-19 – “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer — may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” (NIV)

1 Corinthians 7:2-3 – “But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (NIV)

Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (NIV)

1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 – “It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable” (NIV)

1 Corinthians 6:13 – “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” (NIV)