I am not usually a fan of Balmain, I mean I have no beef with the designer, I just have never seen anything yet I have had a reason to go goo goo ga ga over. Until this skirt of course. I lovesit!!!! So elegant, so chic and so winter ready. If you are a Balmain freak, or if you want to be, you can find this skirt here...Enjoy :).Moving right along...yes I have not written in awhile, sorry I have been busy chasing job leads. :(. Anyways so over the weekend, I finally got the chance to watch the movie, "He's just not that Into you". I had been meaning to see it since it came out but you know how I get with movies...If you don't, I always say I will go see a movie and then never get around to actually going.
Anyways so all in all, the movie presented a quite interesting perspective on men and women and their dating/relationships. It was so funny that I could relate to some of the things that were said or happened, and other things I just could not grasp. If you haven't seen the movie you should probably stop reading because I am going to spoil it for you.
The part I think I loved most was when one of the key players (female), realized that there are Exceptions and there are Rules. So every time you hear a story about some woman who had been looking for a man for X amount of years and then found him in a grocery store out of the blue one day...yadda...yadda...that would be the exception. The rule is reality, girls like of all of us, who dream of Mr. Perfect (or somewhat close to it) and allow the guys in our lives to treat us like dog poo. Anyways once she realized this, shes telling her other friends and when they ask if they are rules like her (and not exceptions, one was with a guy who had said he didn't believe in marriage and so would never marry her and the other was with a guy whom she had been married to since high school), she was quick to say No!
Why do we lie to ourselves? Seriously!!! Let's keep it real. We all would like to find that person (male or female) and live happily ever after but it is not meant to be. Why do we insist on holding on to deadbeat partners just to avoid the stigma of being alone? Or being labeled single? Why do we still ascribe to the notion that if you are single, there must be something intrinsically wrong with you that you need to fix. Now don't get me wrong, again we are all not perfect (yes even me yours truly). Like this article points out (also referencing this movie) we are and cannot all be 5 star chicks.
The other part of the movie I enjoyed was the part about the guy smoking. Basically the couple that had been married since high school, the wife's father had died from lung cancer and she did not want her husband to smoke. (No Duh). So all throughout the movie we see cigarettes lying around and she keeps asking and he keeps denying and making her feel bad. This same husband cheats on her and tells her (but she is interested in working it out). The end of their relationship happens when she finds a box of cigarettes in his pockets and she goes ape(crazy). Initially you are thinking, ok so you did not get mad he cheated on you but you are going to ask for a divorce because he smokes? I got it though, this is the type of stuff I would pull. If I cannot trust you to tell me the truth, then everything else really does not matter. It was a very powerful piece in the movie, a part I hope people got and did not gloss over because they divorced.
(P.S. I dislike that Bradley whatever his name character ...he just rubs me the wrong way (he always looks like hes trying too hard in his movies) and he looks like a bird)...
I would give the movie a 7 in terms of the lessons it taught, I was a bit disappointed that it went the Hollywood route and everyone seemingly got what they wanted. The man who swore never to marry did marry his woman (in reality usually does not happen), the girl who always ended up with the horrible men finally found her soul mate (how many people are still looking for theirs) etc. The movie purports to teach or show us how to break the cycle of what it says men and women have been trained to think about relationships but in the end it does exactly the opposite and goes with what we "idealize" relationships to be. Everyone ends up where they should be, with someone who loves them blah blah.
The real lesson should have been: People, learn to accept yourselves as you are. Stop letting society tell you that there is something innately wrong with you because you do not come as a pair. Men stop messing with the minds of women and women lets stop thinking with whats in between our legs. You know better than anyone else when your partner is a no good lying piece of scum, you do!!!! Now I am not a male basher or anti-men, I am just anti whatever establishment says Men are always right and we as women need to edit ourselves to fit these men.
Another recurring theme in the movie said that if a man wants you, he will work to get you. This is so true. Life really is much easier when you subscribe to this belief. It keeps you from doing a lot of pathetic things that you regret later. If he has not called you, most chances its not cause hes busy, saving some endangered animal, caring for his invalid mother (which could all be true) it could just be that he is not into you. Plain and simple. Stop believing the lies your friends tell, it is not because you are too beautiful, too accomplished, too whatever etc. He just does not like you. Don't be pathetic looking for excuses to show up to where is he (its called stalking) and call him just to see how he is, or email him long pitiful love songs (yes I have done all the above, don't judge me)...resist the urge...let him work for you hey isnt that what courtship is all about?
What I am advocating is not cynicism, (maybe it is a healthy dose of cynicism) and it is not being pessimist. It is just reiterating what it is, and what you already know, accept it.
At the end of the day, our relationships are our own choices. However, lets try to make smart decisions that will positively impact our lives and enrich the people we surround ourselves with.
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