"They" say Draping/Draped outfits are the IN thing for Fall 2011. Before "they" said it, I had already jumped on that train. Yes, I am oh so fashion forward. I already have my draped dress ready for my birthday (YAY!). If you are looking to be "hot" this fall, consider looking for draped dresses and tops, they are very efficient in accentuating the parts you want accentuated and hiding the parts you want to remain hidden. This beautiful outfit is BCBG and can be found here for $103.00 Moving right along, I was looking online today and came across a list that someone had written, things they wish they had known before they hit 30. That got me thinking. With the new year coming (right around the corner), this is a good time to take stock of all the lessons I have learned this year.
Lesson 1: If (s)he wants you, then there is nothing going to keep him/her away from you .
Yes we have all been in that situation (and if you haven't kudos to you). You go on that date, think it went pretty well blah blah then silence. You dedicate your whole life to staring at your phone waiting for that person to call. Or even worse, you go on that date, you let them "hit it" then silence. Or you have been doing this on and off thing, it seems you are in an off stage but you cant be quite sure cause the other person wont call you back blah blah then silence and....
QUIT IT!!!
I know, I know, you think no one knows the pain you are going through and your situation is soooo different from everyone elses (*side eye*). This person would call if they had the time its just that they are too busy (insert excuse here). (*sigh*). No sweetie, no no no! Even President Obama has time to stay in contact with his wife. Shut the excuses down and keep it moving.
Lesson 2: Respect yourself. Mentally, Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually.
This applies both to men and women. For women, we spend so much time talking about how we are constantly disrespected by men , other women etc. etc. and then jump right back into things that ensure that we will get disrespected. Allowing people to talk to us anyhow, talking back to people anyhow, I am sure you get the picture. Have some respect for yourself. Have respect in the way you dress, the way you approach life, the way you deal with people and the way you let people deal with you. Always remember to put God first before all things and deal with others as a representation of God. In doing so you will not only be sure to treat people around you with respect, but they will learn to respect you too.
Men, a man who has no respect for himself is a turn off. You want to go around bragging about everything you own and yet you have no respect for yourself. You have children in every area code, you are popping bottles and yet these kids feeding bottles are empty. Do better. Money does not the man make and there is only one letter difference between crass and class.
Lesson 3: Make and keep older friends.
There is nothing new under the sun. Older people have been through most situations you are currently facing or will face in the near future. I know sometimes you swear you were the only one who has experienced a certain situation, NOT TRUE. This is where older people can be useful, they can advice you on these situations. Now I always make sure to seek the advice of my parents and my mentors (older people), priests, heck any older person I know in any situation I encounter. I may not necessarily take their advice but at least they give me options. (Disclaimer I usually end up taking the advice lol)
Lesson 4: Know your friends, don't waste time naming or acknowledging any others.
When push comes to shove who has your back? People are so quick to claim their friends and do not even "know" these people they claim to be friends with. When it comes to my friends, (not acquaintances) I ask myself, 1. If this person were to be removed from my life would I even notice? (Do they serve a higher purpose in my life) and 2. Does this person motivate me to pursue greater and better things for my life. (Do they encourage the best for and in me?). 3. Do I trust this person? If the answer to these questions are no, then sorry you are not my friend, no matter how many times we speak or how close (geographically or figuratively) you think we are. A friend should be someone you are not afraid to share your intimate moments with, someone you can let your guard down around, if I cannot trust you, no thanks.
Lesson 5: Thou shalt keep your money and your friends separate from each other.
Nothing will break a tight relationship (platonic or otherwise) up faster than financial issues. Keep your friends and your money separate. If I do not have the money to give, I do not volunteer it in any situation. I learned that lesson the hard way. If you absolutely HAVE to lend a friend money, make sure you have (in writing preferably) a concrete time table as to when that debt will be repaid. DO NOT HARASS your friend. There is nothing more annoying than having someone help you out with something and then bring it up everytime. "Oh remember when you didnt have that money and I hooked you up?" It is annoying , demeaning and not worth it. Resist the urge. If the time passes and the money hasnt shown up, a polite reminder will do as people genuinely forget with life. If the money still does not show up or your friend does not even acknowledge you then kindly take your letter to the nearest court, file a civil claim et voila. Hopefully being FRIENDS means it should never get to this but (sigh) I have been there and Star (yes her name is/was really Star) and Benaifer (yes that really is her name too), God is watching both of you thieving friends!!! (Ok Woosah)
There are many more lessons I have learned (from) that I will be sharing, this is just the tip of the iceberg. In reflecting on these various lessons, one thing I can see for certain is that I am continually blessed even in the midst of all these situations that have come my way. "It" has been said that what does not kill you will only make you stronger (except for poison I think) and this seems to be the case. All the failed relationships (platonic or otherwise) have only shown me how to be a better person and to respect other people too. If I had not had a foolish man waste my time, never call me etc. how would I respect and appreciate my boyfriend for every time he has checked up on me? If I hadnt gone through the bad friends abusing our friendship, how else would I appreciate the good my current friends bring to my life? You cannot learn from only having positive experiences, you need the negative to show you a difference.
I appreciate every twist and turn my life has taken to get me to this exact spot and I thank God for walking with me through all those times up until now. The past is just that past, the present is a gift :) and my future rests in God's hands. It is truly well with me :).
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