Grace and Faith...no those arent the names of my future kids...:)

Image ganked from here. Like the rest of you, ( I am sure), I had been sleeping on Christian Siriano but no more. I saw his runway look for Payless and I cannot wait until I can find a Payless store that features his new line...AB-SO-LUTELY Fantabulous!!! I die!!!

Now before we move right along, my latest pet peeve is people putting up their bra colors or where they put their bags as status messages on FB to "promote Breast cancer awareness". How in the HELL does provocatively suggesting where you put your bag educate anyone about the real threat of breast cancer and its devastating impact? Yes its all fun and cute IF and only IF it actually motivates more people to go get checked. What I fear, however, is that people are merely blindly copying the status messages and continuing in their ignorance. Not a good look. Ok so now I have that off my chest (no pun intended)...

Moving right along, so today's topic is on Grace and Faith. Yes I know it is a deviation from my norm, I do not think I have written anything from a theological /religious perspective on here yet. If you want to think, read on. If you are not interested, keep it moving and come back later for some more fluffy goodness.

My topic today was provoked by today's reading and reflection which you can find here. Which lead me to think about Grace and Faith. What is grace and what does it enable us to do? According to Augustine, In De gratia Christi 25, 26: "For not only has God given us our ability and helps it, but He even works [brings about] willing and acting in us; not that we do not will or that we do not act, but that without His help we neither will anything good nor do it"—"Non solum enim Beus posse nostrum donavit atque adiuvat, sed etiam 'velle et operari operatur in nobis' non quia nos non volumus, aut nos non agimus, sed quia sine ipsius adiutorio nec volumus aliquid boni nec agimus."

He goes on to make the point that, "What then is the merit of man before grace by which merit he should receive grace? Since only grace makes every good merit of ours, and when God crowns our merits, He crowns nothing else but His own gifts." "Quod est ergo meritum hominis ante gratiam, quo merito percipiat gratiam, cum omne bonum meritum nostrum non in nobis faciat nisi gratia et cum Deus coronat merita nostra, nihil aliud coronet quam munera sua?"Letters 194:3:6
So for Augustine, Grace emanates from God, it is nothing we own or deserve. We are, however, able to do many things through this grace we are gifted with.

Bonhoeffer, is probably known more when one talks about Grace because of his idea of Grace and more specifically CoSTLY grace. What was he going on about? Costly Grace is the privilege of taking the cross for others. Bonhoeffer introduces the major issue with our world today. According to him, the real trouble is that the pure Word of Jesus has been overlaid with so much human ballast – burdensome rules and regulations, false hopes and consolations that it has become extremely difficult to make a genuine decision for Christ. Let's think about it this way, if Jesus could draw the prostitutes and tax men to dine and talk to him, then why does our modern Gospel try to separate us? Jesus did not come for the saved he came for the sinners so lets focus on the sinners rather than rejoicing with the “saved”.

For Bonhoeffer, he sees this grace as costly because it is like a treasure hidden in the field, it is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock. It is costly because it cost God the life of his Son, and what has cost God so much cannot be cheap for us. It is the sanctuary of God, the living word, which he speaks as it pleases him. Grace is costly because it compels a man to submit to the yoke of Christ and follow him, it is grace because Jesus says: “my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.

So in the simplest form possible Grace is from God and enables us to live as he would like for us to live. It is costly because Jesus paid the ultimate down payment for our sins by having himself put to death. A shameful death at that, death on a tree. Galatians 3 says, "Christ ransomed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written, Cursed be everyone who hangs on a tree, that the blessing of Abraham might be extended to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith." Wow right? He not only came and ate with the prostitutes, the tax collectors but he made sure to die the most demeaning way possible, now if he was able to do this then what is our problem seeking the grace which he is more than willing to give if we ask?

Now what is faith and where does it fit into this equation?Let's start off with what Lewis says about Faith in Mere Christianity. For Lewis, there are three theological virtues: Faith, Hope and Charity. (Pg 129) (Faith) in first sense means belief accepting or regarding as true the doctrines of Christianity. Now faith in the sense in which I am here using the word, is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods. Christ offers something for nothing: He even offers everything for nothing. In a sense, the whole Christian life consists in accepting that very remarkable offer. But the difficulty is to reach the point of recognizing that all we have done and can do is nothing. (Pg 147) So faith is consistent, it is free (based on what grace enables) and it is redemptive. God gives us grace and we choose to believe and grow, simple. I do not know how much more simpler we can make this.

In terms of faith, our lack of standing for something (anything at all) is making us move for nothing at all. Bonhoeffer is deeply troubled by the lack of faith he sees in his society (and we should all be worried too). According to him, we have to examine the societies we live in. Are these societies working to promote the Gospel, or like Hitler's Germany, are they trying to rewrite history or write our present without God? In this era of our culture leading our Gospel “Nothing less than a return to the Christian faith can save” (p. 27) our societies. The good message of Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s life is that Western Civilization must not die. It will be born again to youth.(p. 33)


Throughout the New testament we have repeated occasions where Jesus shows how through faith much can be achieved. In Matthew we have such an instance when in speaking about Faith Jesus says, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." That is how litle faith we need to make major things happen in our lives. It really bothers me (another pet peeve alert) when I see people quoting the Bible in the Facebook status and make it like a competition. Everyone wants you to see how much they know or how they have been able to come up with something smart...I am not judging, or at least I am not trying to. It just saddens me because I feel like they are cheapen the very important lessons that can be gleaned from the Bible. If you are writing all those and truly believing and practicing what you are posting then more grease to your elbows. I am more worried about the followers who just do this because they saw someone else do it and it looks fashionable to be "a Bible quoting Christian". But I digress.

Now as I mentioned earlier, this post was all based on today's reflection but that reflection triggered something deeper in me. I have been through a lot these past months, weeks etc. I kept believing as the people around me did that things would get better. However, when things did start to get better, I refused to believe they were actually getting better. Instead I started to look for where things could and would go wrong. I was telling myself I had grace and faith but I was living with fear. I was being typically human, having/making back up plans etc. etc. with the excuse that it seems to easy, they said it would, it should be harder.

That is what this reflection made me realize today. I am living as if I am unworthy of the free grace God chooses to send into my life. My human mind is trying to ration why I should be blessed and is telling me its a fluke, God is going to realize he sent the wrong grace and blessings to the wrong person and take it away. My plan was to enjoy it for now but plan for trouble times (which I believed were coming soon). Pretty human of me right?

Today after realizing this, I refuse to do that anymore. I am going to thank God for bringing me here today, giving me the blessings (the many many many blessings he has given me) I am truly unworthy but then again are any of us truly ever worthy of the love of God? It is a gift I embrace and I am going to give thanks for because he has seen it fit to give me, his unworthy servant the many graces I enjoy. :) If you are like me and God is blessing you right now in any way at all, don't be like I used to be and wonder when it is going to end. Enjoy it and give him thanks for it all. He is with you in the bad times and blesses you with the good time lets embrace them all. I thank God for my friends, my work (no matter how part time or how temporary), my amazing family especially my parents and for my God fearing man :) I am blessed and from today I will live like I truly believe that.

You are just too smart for him....Probably NOT!!!

I am not usually a fan of Balmain, I mean I have no beef with the designer, I just have never seen anything yet I have had a reason to go goo goo ga ga over. Until this skirt of course. I lovesit!!!! So elegant, so chic and so winter ready. If you are a Balmain freak, or if you want to be, you can find this skirt here...Enjoy :).

Moving right along...yes I have not written in awhile, sorry I have been busy chasing job leads. :(. Anyways so over the weekend, I finally got the chance to watch the movie, "He's just not that Into you". I had been meaning to see it since it came out but you know how I get with movies...If you don't, I always say I will go see a movie and then never get around to actually going.

Anyways so all in all, the movie presented a quite interesting perspective on men and women and their dating/relationships. It was so funny that I could relate to some of the things that were said or happened, and other things I just could not grasp. If you haven't seen the movie you should probably stop reading because I am going to spoil it for you.

The part I think I loved most was when one of the key players (female), realized that there are Exceptions and there are Rules. So every time you hear a story about some woman who had been looking for a man for X amount of years and then found him in a grocery store out of the blue one day...yadda...yadda...that would be the exception. The rule is reality, girls like of all of us, who dream of Mr. Perfect (or somewhat close to it) and allow the guys in our lives to treat us like dog poo. Anyways once she realized this, shes telling her other friends and when they ask if they are rules like her (and not exceptions, one was with a guy who had said he didn't believe in marriage and so would never marry her and the other was with a guy whom she had been married to since high school), she was quick to say No!

Why do we lie to ourselves? Seriously!!! Let's keep it real. We all would like to find that person (male or female) and live happily ever after but it is not meant to be. Why do we insist on holding on to deadbeat partners just to avoid the stigma of being alone? Or being labeled single? Why do we still ascribe to the notion that if you are single, there must be something intrinsically wrong with you that you need to fix. Now don't get me wrong, again we are all not perfect (yes even me yours truly). Like this article points out (also referencing this movie) we are and cannot all be 5 star chicks.

The other part of the movie I enjoyed was the part about the guy smoking. Basically the couple that had been married since high school, the wife's father had died from lung cancer and she did not want her husband to smoke. (No Duh). So all throughout the movie we see cigarettes lying around and she keeps asking and he keeps denying and making her feel bad. This same husband cheats on her and tells her (but she is interested in working it out). The end of their relationship happens when she finds a box of cigarettes in his pockets and she goes ape(crazy). Initially you are thinking, ok so you did not get mad he cheated on you but you are going to ask for a divorce because he smokes? I got it though, this is the type of stuff I would pull. If I cannot trust you to tell me the truth, then everything else really does not matter. It was a very powerful piece in the movie, a part I hope people got and did not gloss over because they divorced.
(P.S. I dislike that Bradley whatever his name character ...he just rubs me the wrong way (he always looks like hes trying too hard in his movies) and he looks like a bird)...

I would give the movie a 7 in terms of the lessons it taught, I was a bit disappointed that it went the Hollywood route and everyone seemingly got what they wanted. The man who swore never to marry did marry his woman (in reality usually does not happen), the girl who always ended up with the horrible men finally found her soul mate (how many people are still looking for theirs) etc. The movie purports to teach or show us how to break the cycle of what it says men and women have been trained to think about relationships but in the end it does exactly the opposite and goes with what we "idealize" relationships to be. Everyone ends up where they should be, with someone who loves them blah blah.

The real lesson should have been: People, learn to accept yourselves as you are. Stop letting society tell you that there is something innately wrong with you because you do not come as a pair. Men stop messing with the minds of women and women lets stop thinking with whats in between our legs. You know better than anyone else when your partner is a no good lying piece of scum, you do!!!! Now I am not a male basher or anti-men, I am just anti whatever establishment says Men are always right and we as women need to edit ourselves to fit these men.

Another recurring theme in the movie said that if a man wants you, he will work to get you. This is so true. Life really is much easier when you subscribe to this belief. It keeps you from doing a lot of pathetic things that you regret later. If he has not called you, most chances its not cause hes busy, saving some endangered animal, caring for his invalid mother (which could all be true) it could just be that he is not into you. Plain and simple. Stop believing the lies your friends tell, it is not because you are too beautiful, too accomplished, too whatever etc. He just does not like you. Don't be pathetic looking for excuses to show up to where is he (its called stalking) and call him just to see how he is, or email him long pitiful love songs (yes I have done all the above, don't judge me)...resist the urge...let him work for you hey isnt that what courtship is all about?

What I am advocating is not cynicism, (maybe it is a healthy dose of cynicism) and it is not being pessimist. It is just reiterating what it is, and what you already know, accept it.

At the end of the day, our relationships are our own choices. However, lets try to make smart decisions that will positively impact our lives and enrich the people we surround ourselves with.

Food, fun and sun...what else could a girl ask for?

Finally, something I can afford from the Outnet.com. I say "afford" meaning I could get rid of a lung (I got 2) or (an eye) or one of my body parts in order to afford this. That's all semantics though, I could "afford" it and that's all that matters. :). This beautiful (I die for the embellishments) Manoush Embellished velvet gilet is oh so hot! I would probably love it more if it were a proper jacket though. If you love it more than I do, you can find it here for $154.00...enjoy.

I have nothing useful to rave or rant about today so I will just give you the link to some hook ups going on now or in the immediate future.

First of all, spa week is coming up. I was not going to look into getting anything done, but I have seen a nice microdermabrasion treatment I might look into. Silly me I did not even explain what spa week is/was. Spa week is a few days ever so often that certain spa's give certain treatments on discount. Whatever advertised treatment they have will be $50.00. So if the treatment is $180 usually, for spa week you can get it for $50. Pretty sweet right? For more about Spa week click here.

The other interesting thing that ties in with this spa week is restaurant week. Now this varies from state to state so be sure to Google it for your area and you might find some awesome dining deals.

Ruelala.com has some fun vacation ideas...for example, there is this 3-Night Getaway Package in a Junior Oceanfront Suite. Make an exciting escape to a beautiful Jamaican resort and experience the island as never before with ultra-exclusive perks. 3 Nights for $1200 (does not include airfare though) they also have a 5 night option.

There is also a 5-Night Getaway Package in a Junior Oceanfront Suite option. Retreat to the gorgeous island of Jamaica and vacation in style at a renowned Caribbean resort with ultra-exclusive perks. This package goes for $2000.00 :) something fun to do after all the New year headache?

If I think about anything else you will be the first to know. Remember, to sign up for Ruelala.com please click here.

Send me pictures :)

I give...you take...How prepared are YOU for ME?

A good friend shared what I am sharing with you below and got me reflecting on the idea of how we prepare ourselves. Well in this Julien McDonald Crystal Embellished dress you would be VERY prepared to cause some major havoc...I love!!!
You know the drill, click here for the link. Its on sale for $2320.50, 50% off.

Moving right along. So I was just sitting around today when Trix sent me this thought provoking email. I have been struggling with the idea of planning and time management since Saturday. As I mentioned before, I am someone who likes things very planned out. I can go with the flow, but I PREFER to know where the flow is going.

Watching the Suze Orman on Saturday almost drove me into depression. I was seeing people my age with "savings", 401ks etc. etc. and I am sitting with squat to my name. Not having a job and all the problems that come with over qualifications and legalities, suddenly hit me again. Panic set in and the questions started up, should I abandon ship in search of better lands (and possibly lose the man) or stay and invest time in him and not quit on this land of supposed milk and honey? Then I thought, what if he isn't the one and 4 years down the way I am kicking myself because of missed opportunities...(yeah and YOU thought you had issues lol).

What if, what could, what, when, why, where questions have just been racing through my mind. So you can see how the reflection below was quite timely. If I say and truly believe that everything good happens in God's own time, then my fretting is just the Devil working on overtime. He gets a pass for now but by tomorrow its game over...I need to let it go and leave it all in God's hands. I have tried to prepare myself to the best of my ability, the rest I leave up to God to fix, make new or make better :). How prepared are YOU?

How to Prepare Yourself

“So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife.” Ru 4:13 NKJV

Look at the instructions Naomi gave Ruth for approaching Boaz, her future husband, and you’ll see that there’s a certain protocol involved in walking with God. Once you understand it, the things you’ve been waiting for begin to happen.

So:

(1) Be sure it’s God’s will for you. Ruth wasn’t looking for just any man, she had a specific one in mind. And because Naomi had done her homework, she was able to tell Ruth where to find him: “He is winnowing barley tonight at the threshing floor” (Ru 3:2 NKJV). Research what you want from God before you start claiming things in prayer. Be sure it’s what He wants too! If your name’s not on it, don’t pursue it. Don’t go after something because it looks good in someone else’s life. God has a plan for you—one that’s unique and specific. Seek Him and He will reveal it to you.

(2) Deal with your past. Naomi said to Ruth, “Wash yourself” (Ru 3:3 NKJV). In order to gain acceptance with Boaz, Ruth couldn’t approach him looking and smelling like Moab, the famine-stricken place she’d come from. She needed to settle her past so it didn’t sabotage her future. God will open the door for you, but until you’ve resolved your old issues you won’t be able to walk through it. You can’t receive what He has for you now if you’re still contaminated by what you went through then. Whether it takes six months or six years, sort out your emotional baggage. God says: “Forget the former things…I am doing a new thing…I am making a way” (Isa 43:18-19 NIV).

Observe two more things Naomi taught Ruth, in preparation for meeting Boaz:

(3) Make sure you're in the right place. Naomi told Ruth, "Go down to the threshing floor" (Ru 3:3 NKJV). Why? Because that's where Boaz was! To receive what God has for you, you must be in the right place spiritually. Satan will tell you you're unworthy. He will try to convince you to stay where you are and to listen to those who'd keep you from where God wants you to be. He will make you feel out of place even when you're in the right place. Don't believe his lies; when God calls you He equips you, empowers you, and uses you for His glory.

(4) Understand the importance of timing. "Do not make yourself known to the man until..." (Ru 3:3 NKJV). Ruth had waited a long time for this moment; now she had to learn to be quiet because the person God planned to bless her through was sleeping. It's hard to be all keyed up about something nobody else is excited about; you want to get them excited too. But sometimes God says, "Wait." Stop working to make things happen before their time! Don't try to promote yourself. "The vision is yet for an appointed time...Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come" (Hab 2:3 NKJV). God may not respond when you think He should, but His timing is perfect. He has blessings with your name on them, and no matter how many others want them, when the time is right He will give them to you.

This is seemingly directed at finding someone but I think we can apply it to a wider situation. We can make this very useful advice apply in different contexts. Let's think about this, in every move we make, how much better will the move be if we are sure it is God's will and not our own.? How better will it be also, if we leave all the insecurities of our past behind and go forward in God's way? ...Think about it and apply it.

God says: “Forget the former things…I am doing a new thing…I am making a way” (Isa 43:18-19 NIV). Let's believe this and see a new way come about...:)

Your just like a pill, instead of making me better, you keep making me ill...

I am not a big make up buff...i.e., I usually do not know what works well with other peoples skins etc. etc. I know what I need and that's about it. Up until I visited a friend who is a make up artist, I had no clue I actually needed a make up bag and have make up brushes etc. Anyways she educated me and to help me along my merry way, she gave me this YSL Gold celebration make up palette. I haven't used the eye shadows much but when I do, they really "pop" so if you want something that will pop and (I think its organic if I am not mistaken), then invest in a YSL eye shadow palette.

Moving right along. Last week was a roller coaster one for me. I was euphoric about the possibility of finally getting a job, and then depressed when the job was taken or I was not a good enough fit. It also probably did not help that I was pmsing. That week is over, however, and we are on to the next one. We hope this week brings better things :).

So I was going through my phone, cleaning out the junk messages etc. when I happened to look into my spam inbox and find a missed call from my "enabler". Now before we even go into details lets back track and discuss who an enabler is to you.

My definition of an enabler(negative) is someone who allows, permits, condones certain behaviors of mine that I know are not behaviors I should indulge in. He is the one who wants to come over and "just talk" with several bottles of wine. She is the one who always invites me to the mall or sends me "wonder" sale links. He is the one who wants me to believe that men and women can be friends and that includes "just sleeping" together in the same bed. *Side eye* You are starting to think about your own enabler(s) aren't you?

Good, now moving now. So I am cleaning my phone out and see a missed call or rather a spammed call from my enabler. A spammed call? Yes, Google voice has this amazing feature where you can block a number. A feature that normal cellphone companies do not have. With this feature, I can and have blocked all my enablers, this one included. What happens is that when this blocked person calls, they get a wrong message and go into your spam. They don't get hurt feelings, you do not know they called unless you check your spam.

So I see my spammed missed call from my enabler. This particular one, is a smooth talker. He is also very married and every time he has tried something and I have called him out on it, he swears he is just joking and we can be "just friends". *side eye* He usually spoils me with my first love (food) and that's how he sets me up every time. Pray for me!
I was very tempted to call him back...visions of all the food I could eat and all the good wine I could imbibe oh so tempted me. But I resisted the urge. Want to know why?

It is pretty simple. When we give in to these enablers, essentially we do it at a risk to our happiness in the long run. Enablers are here to serve one purpose and one purpose alone. They work to take your eye off the prize. Every time I have dealt with my enablers, the one thing I realize is that they take me further away from what I hope to achieve. When I regain my senses, I am further away from what I wanted to be than before and then I have to trek back. *ugh* It is not worth it.

Just say No to enablers. Do not listen to that friend who tells you to give up on your dreams and that you are too old to do something or anything. Do not pay any mind to your family or friends who laugh at your dreams of finding a perfect mate. Do not ever settle for second best because at this point in the game, no one of class is "checking" for you. Stop listening to those stupid recruiters that tell you to take the lower paying job and to stop applying because the economy is hard and that's all you will get. Stop getting with the man who will not treat you like a queen. Quit that toxic woman who only wants to nag and fight.
These are all examples of negative enablers, people who want you to believe that less than the best is all you are worth and all you can look forward to.

My enabler is pitiful to me now because everything he purports to offer, I know if I am patient and faithful I will get. I do not need to mess with a married man. If that is how I aim to get (and stay) happy in life (through messing with a married man), then God help me because my life is going to be very sad. I am very happy that even though I was slightly tempted, I did not succumb. Not paying attention to him and deleting his number again gave me great satisfaction.

Do not let your enablers distract you from your greater goal. You can do whatever it is you want to do with prayers and supplications. God is the one who decides your coming and your going, all you need to do is ask him and he says he will supply it. Let's quit these short cut people and be ready and willing to put in hard work to get where we want to be and where we know we ought to be. Pray pray pray and at the appropriate time, in the appropriate place it will come to be :).

1 Cor. 6:9-12

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.

To my enabler...Ive already got someone to "Hang with me" :)

My Favorite looks from some of my favorite designers

BCBG Max Azria Spring 2011
Source











Alicia +
Olivia Spring 2011
Source










Herve Leger by Max Azria Spring 2011
Source












Narcisso Rodriguez 2011
Source

Don't let me have to get...Ghetto...

Its amazing, how little, men know about lingerie. Appreciate it, YES...Know where to get it MAYBE...even Know how to get it off , Probably. But the intricacies involved in picking out the perfect piece of lingerie I say FAIL.

If you are lucky, your man may voice an opinion about his preference, and some men may even come shopping with you. Most men, however, prefer to just be surprised. Now in my past life I could "afford" the high end stuff. Now that I am broke and unemployed, I can no longer afford or even justify spending such amounts on things that will be seen for a few seconds.

If you are interested in the beauty in the picture, it is La Perla and you can find it here for "only" $435.00...the La Perla site can be found here, you can find more gems. *My preciousssssss*

Lingerie is very apt because of the topic I am going to be talking about today. The Guys might need it to placate their woman and women might need it to placate their incensed men. Works perfectly depending on the sinner in this situation.

Let's set the scenario:

You get all "prettified"/"hunkified" (hey if the American dictionary can see it fit to add lmao to their listing then I can say prettified/hunkified). You walk into a party, gathering, meeting with your significant other and there is some person who seems not to recognize that you guys came together (and will leave together). In other words, this random person is all over YOUR partner.

What would you do in that situation? (I can tell you right now that my heels will be coming off, earrings coming off....Of course not! I was raised better than to act like that. )
Now let's add an interesting aspect to this situation. Let's say your significant other is flirting back with said individual, where would you draw the line? Would you allow him/her to get this person's number? Why? Why not?

In all honesty, I would probably get mad and insulted initially, but in the interest of not acting like an ass like he is, I would probably turn around and do the same. At the end of the night we can see how many numbers we can end up. See you can choose to turn this into a bad thing and fight OR you can turn it into a game you will both benefit from by comparing who got more numbers, burn them up and go home and enjoy each other.

*Sound a vuvuzela*

Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait!!!!!! What about the disrespect factor?

You already know how I dislike being disrespected and I am sure the feeling is mutual. In this specific situation, however, I think there are several ways to kill a cat. The above scenario where I take such a playful attitude to this issue would only happen if my man was doing this in a teasing/playful manner. At this point, you do not need me to say AGAIN that if he was seriously trying to get another chick's number in my presence, we would be single that minute. (He should also pray I did not drive there.)

What if I did it first though? Then he should be a very loving boyfriend and forgive and forget yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. This is where the lingerie would come in :). lol .No, I have more sense than to disrespect myself and him by getting a number while he is around. I do not even think I would get a number now *cough* *cough*...:).

I presented the scenario above for two reasons. Firstly because it is one that I think would be interesting to deal with, just to see how I would react. Secondly, I was having a conversation with a friend which seems to tie into this whole issue. The main point of our conversation was about how ones actions are "supposed" (key word here being "supposed") to change once you get with someone you are serious about. *No duh* I say (to some extent). This person was concerned about how in the past I have handled my "taken" status. Most of the time, people do not know I am in a relationship unless they are close to me (which is how I think things should be). This person, however, thought it was my way to cop out by not "claiming" my situation and thereby letting not people know I was off the market and opening the market up for other single people. *side eye*...

How does this tie in with the topic above? Well this person's first argument was that if people do not know I am with someone, then just walking into a place with them does not necessarily mean that we are together. Therefore, that person is free bait, ESPECIALLY if they are flirting right back.*Pause* Well the second part about them flirting back makes sense, the first is rubbish my boo boo is not free bait!!! When I see a "couple" walk in somewhere, I try to find out "their situation" before making a move. I think its just respectful to both parties. People need to respect this rule and check what the status is between me and any man I walk into a party with before making a move. How about that for a rule???...So first point...MOOT!

The second point was that if people do not know I am with someone, then they think they are free to flirt with me and (especially if I am flirting back) then they do not see anything wrong with giving me their number if they think we have a good vibe going. In other words its wrong to "set someone up" to give them hope enough to ask for your number and then (hopefully but unfortunately) say oh I am with someone. (If you do not claim your significant other when they are not around then this whole reading exercise is useless for you, be gone). For this friend, it was necessary.to let people know you are taken before you commence flirting. Flirting etiquette 101. In doing this, the other person can decide (with all the information) if they want to try and holla at a taken person, become friends or just keep it moving.
Do you agree? Is it necessary for me to tell you I am taken before I flirt with you? Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of the flirting? Should taken people be flirting?
So many questions, so little time...!!!! So point number two will be reflected upon until further notice.

As if all those questions were not confusing enough, let's add another element, another twist (hey its a Friday). Now what if the person flirting with your significant other is their ex? I know I have spoken in depth about this ex issue before so I am not going to waste a lot of time on it. I do not condone violence and "ratchetness" aka behavior not befitting of a lady or gentleman. No lady/gentleman should ever be out raising his/her voice at another or threatening to take his or her shoes off. No person is worth that. Always resist the urge especially in this youtube era. You do not want that moment of rage to lead to a lifetime of regret for that one action. If said ex is in their face and they (your significant other) keeps it there, you need to keep it moving and do not look back. If s/he can do it to your face, s/he is doing worse behind your back. No one is that desperate to be with a man/woman. *Wooooo sahhhhh*

Being in a relationship should be a fun but respectful experience. I think respect is something that a lot of people start to take for granted, which spells the beginning of the end of said relationship. The "how would I react if this was done to me rule" is oh so important and vital for the success of any good relationship. (Unless you are a narcissist.) Most of the time, if you think things through and ask "how would I feel if s/he did it to me" and act based on that answer you will find that you are doing the right things.

So what is the morale of today's story? If you see me and my man walk into a party, (Ophelia!!) know I am taking him home after all is said and done. (Unless he disrespects me of course, then you can have him, life is too short to waste time on a loser).

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33 (says wife and husband I say significant other)