He came, I saw, and True Love conquered...The End (for now :))

Don't cry for me Argentina..... Unless you really really want to, in that case don't let me stop you. :) *Sigh*. LOL ok so I started writing this blog because I needed an outlet to vent and I have sufficiently satisfied that need at this current time. I will be back reinvented for your reading pleasure, best be'led that, but for now, I must bid you Adieu...

This past week has been one of the emotionally draining weeks I have ever had but the one thing I have realized is that first of all, I have some KICKASS friends, you are ALL truly amazing and know how to make a girl feel special and second, the human spirit is amazingly resilient. No matter what you are going through, remember the good Lord loves you and only wants what is best for each and everyone of us, and he is there with us through sickness, foreclosures, divorce, child custody battles, through ALL of IT!!

This was the last week of class and my students opened up about their various lives and I could do nothing but thank God for my life, issues and all. I thank God for your lives as well because I have come to realize that some people TRULY know PAIN. You think you have it bad until you hear about someone else.

Anyways I digress, so now the American Chapter of my life is done, and now I am on to bigger and better things (let's see if Mexico works out :), Dont judge me India is next *sigh* lol). Well I am finally ready to make A change surrounded by all your love and support. If I don't have your love and support, call me let's talk it out...HA!

I have given a lot and taken a lot and I am the person I am today because of the many lessons I have learned in this country. I appreciate every single opportunity I have come across, and I thank anyone who ever kicked me down (especially any evil students) because ultimately when I got back up, I appreciated the "upness" more. I end this blog with this last post and this last piece of advice that I hope you think about daily...

I remain forever yours,

Dr. CAT

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

Let your faith be stronger than your obstacles...just name your first born Faith...:)

I love this outfit...I would change the shoes but everything else matches perfectly. I think I am in love....:)...Well if you want to get it, you know the deal click here, its on sale for $146.66...Dolce & Gabanna...sighhh...

My mother shared the following reflection with my brothers and I the other day and I thought I would share it would you...Enjoy :)...

Drinking the Cup of Christ

“At the end of Lent, I was thinking about how important it is to know how to live the painful moments, the suffering, being cast aside, loneliness, moments of failure, disappointment, and unfaithfulness – moments that are a part of the human existence because they are a part of the human reality. Sometimes the Lord wants us to participate in human suffering. We must mature in this capacity to suffer and at the same time offer it to Jesus. To do this, it is necessary to speak to Him, to cry out to God about our suffering, kneeling with our eyes fixed on the crucifix. We must form this way of thinking so that, in the moment of the Cross, we do not walk around complaining, trying to escape it, and wasting this precious moment in which Jesus is sharing the Cross with us and giving us a small part of His pain on the Cross. Pain is a part of human life. Do not avoid it, minimize its significance, or talk about it in such a trivial way!

This is my experience as a weak and fragile woman. I know that many times I, too, lost those moments. When I reflected on my life and really saw how often this happened, I said to myself, “Look at what I lost. How immature I was!’ We have a three-word expression in Community to help us get through the moments of suffering and provocation: “silence, swallow, and suffer.” When someone criticizes or reprimands you, and you respond by defending yourself, the other young men in Community say, “You’ve missed the boat! What we mean is you’ve missed the “boat” of maturity, of self-control, of the capacity to be quiet and to suffer with dignity in silence.” I teach these things to the young people because, when they leave the Community, their boss at work will want to be right, their spouse will want to be right, their children will argue, and – without any doubt – someone must give in so that peace can reign. Yes, peace is most important and to know how to “give in” is our strength and safeguard. It is the mysterious school of the Cross, of our God who did not explain the Cross but welcomed it, experiencing the Cross in the body of His crucified Son. Jesus invites us to look at Him, to ask Him for faith and love, so that our heart will not lose hope, and after the darkness of Good Friday, we will know how to capture in our own lives the radiant light of Easter morning! The risen Jesus is our true hope, because in Him pain and death are defeated!”

Mother Elvira Petrozzi (Foundress of Comunita Cenaclolo……providing houses of refuge in 15 countries for the lost and desparate)

So he's your EX...Ill make him MY EXCEPTION!!!

So since I often put up too formal attire up that we can't always wear, I decided to switch it up today and put something that we can all wear on that/those "hot" date(s). Also, summer is coming around, so perfect time to show those legs :). This beauty here is a Vivienne Tam dress and although the website says you can wear it to work, I think you will get a lot of *side eyes* so let's just save this for After work wear...mmmkay? It's $192.00 and you can find it here.

A friend's ex started hinting about the good days and what could/might have been between us which got me thinking about today's topic.

Dating your friend's ex.

Today's topic is one that I have felt differently about on different days, and at different times in my life. Don't shake your head say NO and run away. Let's talk it out.
Some people might say it is a basic rule, never date your friend's ex. I say (while I run and go hide) it may depend on the situation. Let's read on.

The two things I think are important are time, and how close you are to said friend. If you are truly close friends then don't do it, it can get very messy. There is no discussing that, just don't! If you are acquaintances that bump into each other every once in awhile and CAN hang out but aren't that close then its easier.

In terms of time, if they dated for more than 6 months and lived in the same place then I say its a dead deal let it go. If they dated for less than 6 months even if they lived in the same place then in that case I say its a free for all and if you feel strongly about dating each other, go ahead. Here is my reasoning.

If you dated someone for less than 6 months, then your relationship would not have matured enough for you two to know yourselves. You would have still been learning about each other, the things that make you tick and the things that make you tock. Any time after 6 months, however, this is when if you are faking it, the true you starts to come out.

So you really really want to date your friend's ex? Well you get no judgment from me (unless he is my ex.) Kidding!!! Well if you choose to date your friend's ex, there are some key things you have to keep in mind.

The first one being if your friend is truly over their ex. People lie, we all do,get over it! I know the many times I have sworn I was over my ex but I would have stabbed any of my friends who had tried to get close/date them. Knowing how much humans lie, you need to look at the whole picture and put yourself in your friend's shoes (even if you are not the same size) and try to see if he/she is truly over the person or if he/she is TRYING to move on. If he/she is not over him/her or TRYING to move on, don't do it. You being around the guy/girl is just going to keep the guy in her/his mind which cannot be a good thing for your friend. You owe it to your friendship to let this other person go.

The second thing you have to deal with is having to deal with the fact that whatever you are going through your friend may have experienced with said person. Every person likes the fact that when he/she is sharing something with their friends about their significant other, they can oooohh and ahhh about it. Imagine being all excited to tell them about how X plans to take you to the moon and your friend chimes in and tells you about all the fun THEY had when THEY went to the moon. If you are not a strong individual you may begin to resent your friend even if he/she is not doing this on purpose. You can't complain either because you knew they were exes before you took this step.

The other thing you have to deal with is OTHER people. Maybe you and your friend really do not mind that you are dating his/her ex. That does not stop other people from "judging" you, however. You have to be a strong person to deal with this. If you are going to whine about it then it could ruin your relationship. If you are not strong then other people will start to run your relationship. They might start to put ideas in your head you may have not considered.

The last thing I think you have to deal with is paranoia. If you are not a strong person you might start to over think your relationship. You may think that maybe they want to be with you so they can still be around their ex. This could hurt you in two ways. If said person is not truly over your friend then you keeping them in your circle might just remind them of the good times they shared and you may end up being dumped. for your friend (*sigh). Alternatively, your friend may not want this ex back and will want to move on and be irritated every time you bring their ex around which will cause a rift in the friendship you and he/she have. Or you could go crazy thinking about how the ex is with you to stalk their ex your friend and never really cared for or about you. Can you see how this situation can drive you crazy if you are not emotionally strong/stable.

It is not always bad though. Looking at the other side of the coin, what if your friend got with said person knowing very well that you wanted them and they did not work out. Does that then mean you should not go for this person? I say do it. If your friend knew you wanted said person and went ahead and got with them then they set you up (and you should really question your friendship). Or if you meet someone and get to know them and truly enjoy being with them and find out they have dated a friend of yours awhile ago, are you supposed to dump the person? (I say are you psycho?) There are legitimate times where you CAN and SHOULD date your friend's ex. (Yes, if I have ever said you have a hot ex this is where you should worry :))

I have often tried to be as honest as I could about my feelings for my exes. I told my friends which ones I was truly over, and which ones they could not go near. (It's not fair but its life). I have a personal rule about dating my friends exes, no matter how scrumptious they look, how rich they are, etc. etc. I just avoid doing it (*woosah*).
There is too much headache there for me to deal with. I want my own fresh man, one with his own fresh problems that none of my friends have the "cheat sheet" to.

You may feel differently, however, and that is your own decision to make. Just make sure if you are getting with your friend's ex you are doing this for the right reasons and not simply to make your friend jealous or get your ex back.

I am lucky that my friends and I are never attracted to the same type of men. I can honestly say there is not a single man any of my friends have dated I would have wanted and I am sure they feel the same about the men I have dated. If they wanted to go ahead and date any of my exes they would be free to, however. We are all big boys and girls :). (Naa just stay away from ......) :) Kidding!!!

So what say you? Are exes of friends completely off the menu, why, why not?

Ghana....oooo.....

THE BIG SIX

These were the six brave men and leaders of the United Gold Coast Convention (U.G.C.C.) who were arrested and detained under the Emergency Regulation in 1948 during disturbances in the Gold Coast. They were (and are) the gallant men who spearheaded the transition of the Gold Coast from colonialism to Independence on that memorable day the 6th of March, 1957.

From left Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, Mr. Obetsebi-Lamptey, Mr. Ako Adjei, Mr. Edward Akuffo-Addo, Dr. J. B. Danquah, Mr. William Ofori Atta.

INDEPENDENCE SPEECH :

OUR Jesus said I should help YOU Pay for WHAT?!!!!!!!

If you know Lynda and you want to make her happy, let me let you in on a secret. She loves all things Anthropologie. Since she provided the impetus for this "rant", it is only fitting that I post something she absolutely adores. So sometime last week, she sent me a link about a Pastor asking his "flock" to help him pay for his/a plane. If you are so inclined watch the link here.

On that day many will say to me, `Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?'

And then will I declare to them, `I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.'

*Sigh* Where do I even begin to begin... Ok Disclaimer, first of all, I do not know said Pastor, nor has he ever done anything wrong to me, or anyone I know ( I think).

HOWEVER, I have issue with his (and others like him) "message(s)". Although come to think of it, a person giving such a message should not and does not rate highly in my books but I digress. I have a deep loathing for such preachers and their gospels because it focuses too much on prosperity especially in the here and now. So when you are not prospering, then is Jesus mad at you? Or perhaps is Jesus taking his time? If everything truly has its season then why do some preachers in their gospel try to preach that we must always have a high season and that is what God wants for us. I know God does not want us to suffer, but our OWN actions lead us to do so. That is where our free will comes into play. If your free will lets you cheat on your spouse, your job etc. then how do you run to Church and expect God to reward this? You cannot hold God accountable for your sins!!!

For these Preachers, I want to ask a simple question. Where in the Bible does God call on his prophets to make others suffer on his behalf? Did God tell Abraham to tell his wife to sacrifice their only son? Let's even look at Jesus, do you think God could not have sent down an Angel to be sacrificed? I do not buy any Gospel that tells me that in order for the Church to grow I have to sacrifice and the minister/pastor/priest must enjoy. Pastor's/preachers how about we focus on GROWING the congregation we have before trying to shoot for the moon? Did the early disciples have jets etc? No but still the message went far. Be the change you want to see in the world. Let people see you ACT like a Christian.

I respect a pastor, preacher, infact any Christian who acts more, and speaks less. Did Mother Theresa sit in Palace somewhere and get minions to do her work? No! She was deep down in the trenches. She ate what they ate, slept where they slept, did what they did!!! She SHOWED with action!!! If you need ME to sacrifice for YOU then we maybe have a problem n'est ce pas?

I keep wondering how some people get "sucked" into these preachers and their Gospels ( and they ask me how I stay with my depressing Catholicism) and the Vatican which some would argue is a haven for material wealth. I would remind these people that although the Vatican receives funding from Catholics around the world, that is not its only source of income. The day I see the Pope, or even hear of the Pope or any Priest for that matter telling any Catholic to give so he/the parish can chill, Catholicism and I will have a problem.

Moving right along, for some people who buy into these Preachers, they have proof that their gospels work. Such people argue that they have seen products of their friends who go to such churches prospering. Mr./Mrs. X gave 1 million and got 4 million back by God. I give them a side eye and submit that Mr. /Mrs. X did not prosper BECAUSE of that Church but DESPITE their Church trying to fleece them. Some people are great Christians, who TALK the TALK and WALK the WALK...such a person will receive their blessings because ultimately they follow the tenets that God has given (the 10 commandments etc.)

I am so worked up about this because God is not an exclusive deal on a website and I hate it when I get the feeling that he is being marketed in this way. He is a free for all. We all know what it is to be good, and what it is to be bad. Its innately built in. He asks that we do good and shun bad. DONE! Not everyone who comes in his name is FOR him. Priests, Pastors, Church people are ultimately HUMAN like you and I. They strive to live godly lives but YET they are HUMAN and thus fallible. It is my opinion that anyone who says I need to sacrifice for THEM who is NOT Jesus Christ, we have a problem. Think about it!

Matthew 7: 21 - 27
	"Not every one who says to me, `Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
	On that day many will say to me, `Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?'
	And then will I declare to them, `I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.'
	"Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock;
	and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.
	And every one who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand;
	and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell; and great was the fall of it.

BFF...Best Friends Forgotten??

Yes by now you should be very familiar with my love of all things shiny and metallic. When I can afford myself, this is definitely one of those dresses I am going to get. It is a Tadashi Shoji Ombre sequins dress. You can find it at Neiman Marcus, but please do not get it without sending me one...please!!! :)

I could go on and on and on about the dress but let me focus. Today's topic is like the dress I guess, no its not I just wanted more time to look at and talk about the dress...sigh.

Today's topic is really about Friendship. I was talking to an old friend who had recently got engaged about her bridal party and she was trying to go through the list of people to include. She was having such a hard time with it so I suggested she just added her friends (since she doesn't have that many female family members.) This apparently did not help much as she wanted me to define what a "friend" was. (sigh!)

What trouble had I gotten myself into? I started off by saying, well for me a friend is someone who....and got stuck. Who is a FRIEND? To be honest, my concept of friendship has changed as the years have gone by. Remember how in kindergarten, your friend was the first person who looked at you and smiled? Then in grade school, your friends became the people you played with the most? Then your friends went on to become your "clique". Then in high school your friends told the world your social standing, were you one of the cool kids or the kids who got bullied? You went to college and you could dump your high school friends and reinvent yourself (if you were so inclined) etc. etc. I am sad to say I have not had one friend I have known from grade school until now. Unless you count my cousin. As I have changed, my friends have also changed.

Some of this change has occurred because my behavior has changed, some of the things I used to enjoy doing, I do not enjoy anymore so obviously those friends have gotten the clue and jumped ship on me. Some of the change has occurred because I do not like the people I think they have become (or perhaps they always were but I did not see) so I have let these people go. Some of the change has occurred because they do not like the person they believe I am (or I had been but they did not see) and have let me go, some of these friends really were never friends in the first place so we let ourselves go etc. etc. There are many reasons friendships die. Some of these reasons are legit (may they rest in peace). Most of the time, however, friendships die due to a lack of nurturing.

What do I mean by a lack of nurturing? It can also be called selfishness + laziness. Think about this, have you ever had the thought to call a friend and then realized 4 months later that you never actually called that person? In this generation, we have become too busy. Busy doing what exactly I am not sure. Some of us are too busy with our new families, some of us are too busy with our new jobs, others are too busy looking for jobs, and others too busy looking for mates, looking for themselves, looking for looking for, looking for. McLuhan said with the technology we have currently, we would be building a global village. I have always argued, however, that we are not. We are using these technologies to build subvillages where we are ultimate kings and queens. Only the things we deem important or relevant are allowed to permeate the walls of these villages of ours. Friendship seems to pay the price with our subvillages. We have become selfish with our time and with our needs. It is now always about us. Well if X wants me they will call me. Never, let me call X and see how He or She is doing. Its me me me and WE will pay the price for this ultimately.

What makes a good friend? I think the key characteristics of a good friend is someone who puts your needs before their own. (how many of you scoffed at this?) Do we really think in this generation there are people that put others needs before their own? These people must be very stupid then, because its each man for himself and God for us all (and that is precisely why you are not a good friend and do not have good friends). It is not easy but it can be done. I am not suggesting you go empty out your bank account for your friends I am suggesting the little things. Send them an email to check on them ever so often. Call to surprise them. Send a card or two. Something special to remind them that you are there. If they call, do not rush them off the phone because you have a million and one things to do. Listen...you may be the only one who may prevent them from doing something stupid. Make some time for the other people in your lives, Husbands/Wives and children are blessings but they alone cannot sustain you. You need your family and your friends. I think blocking yourself off because you cannot find time will only hurt YOU in the long run. MAKE time!!

I always find it hypocritical when someone dies and suddenly there is an outpouring of grief from the person's so called friends. I want to ask these people when the last time they spoke to this person was. The last time they emailed, the last time they sent a joke, even a Facebook poke. Why do we wait until the person is gone to make noise? We should make the noise whilst there are here. I have started to reevaluate the friends I have (yes the 2 I have lol jk jk), I am trying to learn how to truly be there for them and not simply in the superficial sense. It is getting harder as I get older because obviously I do not want to seem too in their business but at the same time I want them to know if they need to talk I am there to listen (if they pay me i'll listen without judgment.) Friendships are hard but can be so rewarding. Remember the first kiss you got, you most likely shared that story with a friend. Remember your first sneak out from your house, shared that experience with a friend, first crush, first heartbreak, second heartbreak...catch my drift?

Take a moment out to thank God for your friends, they are here to serve a greater purpose in your life if you take the time to let them. I am grateful to have all the psycho friends I have because they make me a better person. Have you called your friend lately?

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out"
-Walter Winchell

"A friend is someone who is there for you when s/he'd rather be anywhere else."
- Len Wein - Sent by Paulo Louro

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Walk beside me and be my friend."
- Albert Camus (also attributed to Maimonidies).