Done Done Done...this outfit is absolute perfection!!! I am loving the one arm look on a lot of dresses I have seen lately. (Including my birthday dress yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! )
Moving right along, Merry Merry Christmas to you and yours, I hope this Christmas brought you all the joy and peace that you had been striving for in your life. I usually spend Christmas with family and friends and I am usually so wrapped up in food and presents that I forget to enjoy myself. The past few Christmas days I have spent alone and its given me a chance to just chill and enjoy. I look back on the year and all the blessings 2010 has brought my way, sustained friendships, new loves, new friends, good health etc. etc.
As we move into the new year there are so many hopes and dreams that I have and that we all have I am sure, I will write more about that later, this is just a short post to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Enjoy your families, the presents and remember the reason for the season is Jesus!!!
I love this dress because of the feathered fan nonsense thats going on at the shoulder and also for the crystals that embellish the dress. This Rachel Gilbert evening dress will be amazing on a body like Naa or Lynda, someone with hips that dont lie...for someone like me...ummm we will work on it. Its only $315 so if you have a woman shaped like a coke bottle you think would appreciate this dress, please be my guest and click on the link above.
Moving right along, so today's post is going to be short and sweet, partly because I am still very sleepy having had to wake up from my sleep to make an airport run which I thought was in the evening. The good side to this is that now I do not have to leave the house again till Christmas ....YAY!!! Ok so todays topic: Are humans capable of Love?
I am not going to go into a drawn out story blah blah I just want to know if people believe that humans are capable of love, AGAPE love that is sacrificing and whole. The non selfish love which considers the other before considering oneself. The love that makes you wake up and pray for the other, the love that makes you delete all temptations from your phone books and online accounts so you are never tempted to call them even if they are closer and can provide a quick fix to your "need" that second. A love that is considerate of the others feelings, can say sorry even if you were in the right and the other was in the wrong. A love that can see and try to draw your attention to your flaws not to highlight or embarrass you but to help you work on changing them.
I see all sides of the love coin, some couples who swear they are in love and yet do not know a thing about the other (i mean the big things), some couples who fight so much I wonder when they have time to even be friends, some couples who only speak when there are others around, some couples who are faking it to make it, some couples who are there for convenience etc. etc. etc. I have said many times that I am love's greatest ally and also its biggest cynic and these situations just make me think a lot. Honestly, I do not know if humans can truly love the way I envision love to be/mean. I want to be able to give my all and KNOW and truly KNOW that I am being given someones all...not cause they "think" that is what they should do to move on from a past relationship or what they should do because I am an awesome woman they "think" they could learn to love in time blah blah blah.
Relationships suck! Big time!!! What I am learning, however, is that they can and do work. You know what I am going to say next....Pray pray pray :)...if the person you are with is not meant to be the person you are supposed to be with, prayers will get and see you through it until you find that one for you. NEVER SETTLE. I always say and I believe truly that I would rather be single than with someone who does not truly appreciate my potential. While I am wasting time with your sorry ass, I could have been with someone who truly loves me and only me and wants to be with me. (Yes I am rambling). Ok so in conclusion, learn to LOVE yourself above all the drama the world has to offer. If you are giving your best and getting half assed for any reason at all...WALK!! Life is too short for rubbish, you deserve the best no matter who you are, where you have been and what mistakes you have made...Forget number 2...if you are not number 1 (after God, and family (which you will be a part of) then dump the sorry ass....(man or woman)....Good day!!!
Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another? Judah has been unfaithful. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves by marrying women who worship a foreign god. As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the LORD remove him from the tents of Jacob—even though he brings an offering to the LORD Almighty. Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. “The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
"Dont stay, if you dont want to stay, Baby ill be ok...Believe me when I say imma be alright.."
Life is good, but you might not agree with that after having to look at the hideousness I have up today. Well this dress just goes to show not everything "Designer" is good. If I ever got this dress I would burn it immediately. It has the nerve to be $3195 original price now "only" $958 and change. Even if they paid me that amount I still would not wear this dress. YUCK!!!!
Moving right along, so third week into advent...what useful thing have you done for someone else? I know I haven't done my advent thing "yet" but trust as soon as I get paid I am taking care of my various charities :).
So what gems of wisdom do I have for you today? PLANNING!!! Most people who know me know that even when it looks like I do not have a plan, I probably do have one. I cannot make a move without planning. I dislike people that just want to go with the flow. Then when the flow is slightly irregular or overflowing then they are all over the place. Not a good look. I know I annoy my friends when it seems I want to overplan the simplest things, but if I have a plan then I can prevent us from wasting money or time, because obviously if you dont have a plan then you have to go with what life throws your way, whereas if you have a plan then you can figure out the cheapest option etc. PLAN!!!!
Now what exactly am I referring to when I say planning? Planning can encompass so many aspects of ones life. Well I mean the total package, your life plan, your money plan, your possible future plans etc.. Now the non planners will be quick to say "ish happens" what happens when your plan/plans do not go according to plan? Then you have to start all over again with your no plans." I would counter that when you make a plan you do take into consideration that life happens and you allow your plans to be flexible.
Money planning: Raise your hand if you know someone who the recession hit extra hard because they were so sure they would always have their high paying jobs and had no back up funding/plans? I empathized with them but I did not have any pity because it is absolutely beyond me how you can be earning 100k+ be single with no dependents and still be broke...(*side eye*). Some people here will jump down my throat and say "well you dont have a savings plan so whats your excuse?" My excuse is that I was never earning that amount of money!!! Ok lets even forget about 100k friends, what about that friend who makes about what you make or slightly more who borrows money from you because they are broke and yet they are always traveling or wearing the cutest outfits they JUST bought?? First of all, can you pay me? Secondly, why will you not be broke if you are shopping your life away? I can talk about this person because that used to be me. Not the borrowing money not paying back bit, but the shopping when you have no money to your name. I have finally learned how to kick that habit. I now shop in my wardrobe since I have so many things I have never worn.
How to plan your money: If you are broke like me here some tips that help me that may help you: 1. Consolidate your debt: I do not mean find the first company and just sign up. Do your homework and find a reputable non profit agency that can help you do this. Once you get all your debts in one place then you can work to tackle the debt beast. (Also you keep your individual accounts from accruing more interest).
2. Aint no shame in coupon use: I used to be one of those people who thought if you used coupons you looked poor to the rest of the shoppers in line. Until I went one day and purchased $70 worth of groceries for about $30. After that I am on the hunt for any and all coupons. I like the website Mygrocerydeals because it is easy, I am able to compare deals and figure out what I want to buy before I go to the store. Impulse buying is the devil for a person trying to save. Have a list and only buy from the things on your list, TRUST ME!!!
3. Stop eating out: I always like watching those money help programs on CNN (Suze Orman, Till Debt do us part) and it kills me when the people are broke broke broke and still manage to spend money on eating out. CUT IT OUT!!!! If you are really craving something...cook it, trust me the first few times you will be off, but you will finally get the hang of it and save some money.
4. You want to spend how much on the club/bar? Everyone likes to go out and have a good time. My trick is forgoing something for the weeks I know I want to go out. If I know I will be going to party maybe something I would do for myself I will not do and save that money and put it all in the partying. Again I cannot understand people who complain about being broke and yet they are the first ones you will see at every event. Stay home!!! 5. Dont be afraid to say I cannot afford it: I can remember a time in my life where I had to turn any trips down because I could not afford to go ...wait ...I am still in that time lol. Seriously though, you have to remember to cut your coat according to your size. Yes I have friends who can at the drop of the hat fly somewhere for the weekend, I know that is not what my pocket can afford, so when they invite me I politely decline and keep it moving. I am not going to put all my money for a trip then come home and starve...no thanks. I know sometimes I have said no and people thought I was being "somehow" because of the notion that my dad pays for everything so if I really wanted to I could go. Those people are Ediots...how does it look at age 20 something asking my dad to pay for me to go on a trip...despite what you may have heard, my daddy aint no fool and he aint no running money tap either. He will pay for the essentials and nothing more, and for me to even expect him to pay for anything else is very stupid and selfish on my part. So when you invite me on that trip and I say no mas, I am not being "somehow" I just cannot afford it "yet" :). Do not let anyone guilt you to do anything you know you cannot afford to do. Now lets move onto the more general aspects of planning, i.e., Planning for other parts of your life:
Know what your long term and short term goals are: I dislike the phrase, I want to be rich. Its vague and useless, who in the right mind wakes up and says I want to be poor? How are you going about getting rich? It upsets me when I see focused men/women get with partners who have no plans except they want to make money and be rich one day. What steps are you taking to make sure that happen? Do you have a degree? Do you have multiple degrees? Do you have experience? Are you getting experience? If you answer No to all the above, then I really do not think you want to be rich!!!
What if my significant other is not on my plan wave length? Planning in relationships is crucial. Without a plan where are you heading? Or are you guys doing a "see how far" relationship where the time will dictate where the relationship goes? Now do not confuse planning with dreams. Yes we all want a platinum style wedding etc. etc. is that a plan? Not unless you have platinum style money. What I mean is that you and your significant other figure out your ultimate time line, what you want to achieve at certain points in time. These plans are not set in stone and can change as the relationship changes. If your significant other runs or hides anytime you bring up the planning topic, then you need to run. Or if they go on about vague things like " I want to be rich" run!!! :). Honey what are we doing with our lives, are you in school? trying to be in school? are you working? are you saving? how much debt do you have? what is the timeline to pay that debt off? Etc. these are all crucial questions you need to discuss.
Ok so you've done it. You've made some pretty awesome plans now what? Well... Follow through with your plans: It is not enough for you to wish to be rich and to have a plan. You actually have to follow through with this plan in order to see how feasible or impossible it is. If it doesn't work, then you can redo the plan until it works. I need to take this to heart myself, there are so many things I have going on in my head that I need to put on paper and start working on actually following through with.
I am a planner and I will probably be a planner for the rest of my life. Planning is the reason my father was able to afford my education and that is a good enough example for me. Even if you are not a planner by nature, start with baby steps, daily plans, weekly plans, and then you can grow onto the other major things when these things become a part of you. Planning helps you think about the future and what you want your future to look like.
Proverbs 12:5 The plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful.
Proverbs 12:20 There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace.
Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 16:3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.
I would probably switch up a few things with this look, maybe dump the cut out Tshirt and actually have a solid Tee, and have a pair of darker jeans/jeggings etc. which actually got to the boot so that slight leg skin action is eliminated. It makes the mannequin look stunted. Anyways its the jacket I am loving most in all this, its Balmain, its on sale and you can find it here reduced from $11845 to $2961.25. (Yippeeeee???)
Moving right along. Today's post is going to be short because I have a ton of errands to run and I have decided to put up my Christmas tree today (YAY!!!!). (Wish me luck) Today's topic is about advice versus opinion and how you take either of those in your life and relationships.
Obviously when you meet someone new your friends, relatives etc. are all happy for you etc. till they meet that person and then a. continue to stay happy for you b. hint he/she is not the one for you or c. flat out say dump him/her.
In those situations what do you do? How much stock do you put in what other people have to say about your relationship? I know my family is very tight so everyone will have an opinion on the man that approaches them for my hand in marriage. Notice I did not say the man I bring home to marry. Cultural thing, in my culture the man is the one that goes "knocking" and not the other way around EVER!!!! If you like a guy and he does not go and ask for your hand or knock for you ...there is no way (at least none I have ever heard) that makes it acceptable for the girl to go knocking for the guy. (If i am lying please let me know). Anyways so back to what I was saying. So my family will have an opinion which will lead to advice...now how much of this should and can I take.
In the past, have been the one evaluating boyfriends and telling my friends/cousins to dump them so I know people can look and see things that you or me may not see whilst we are in the relationship, so in that sense I appreciate the looking out. Then again that are situations that have seemingly withstood the odds against them. Where people I thought should have no business together are "seemingly" doing well together.
This is something I know I can solve overnight (sigh), in the past when I was asked, "What would you do if your dad did not like someone who came to knock for you" my very confident answer was " I'd dump him". Now I am not so sure. I mean I would have to sit down and talk to my dad a lot because he is someone whose opinion I value highly and I know he would never lead me astray but he is human like I am and thus can make a mistake. ( Have I further confused you as much as I have confused myself?)
So what is the solution? Well I had a friend once, who met the man of her dreams but her family and specifically her dad did not approve of this man because of skin color. The girl was torn, we all know how every girl is a daddy's girl (I dont care what you say). She fasted for a week or was it a month and kept praying about it. In the end, the dad was able to look past the guys skin color and realize how truly happy this guy made his daughter and they are now happily married and she is still happy as can be (sigh).
So i guess what I am saying is what I say all along. If God finds you your mate then even if there seem to be valleys and potholes in the relationship, God will provide the tar to fill those potholes and the wooden plank to help you cross the valley (wait how does one cross a valley efficiently???) Oh well...I stay praying that when "Decision:" time comes around for me, I will have a good man doing the knocking and have no problems with my Dad and my family opening the door to him.
Sidenote: This is what YOU can do to make your friends truly respect your input in their relationships. Do not always volunteer information. It is not your relationship so no one really cares what you would have done if you were "in his/her shoes". Make arguments based on logic (even though most of the time logic flies out the window when people are in love) still if you are telling your friend why you think someone is not right for them dont use vague things like, "I dont like him/her", why? "I dont know". (I will dismiss you immediately). Yes we all have gut feelings we should pay attention to but that gut feeling should lead to something tangible before you go blab your opinion otherwise your friend will not take you seriously and everything you say from that point on, even if it is valid will be dismissed. Be a good friend, think, if I was in that persons situation how would I want x, y, z, situation handled and handle it in that way. “The thoughts of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful.”Proverbs 12:5
So all in all, Ive said a lot today and said really little, this is something I will continue to think and pray about and if and/or when you read/see/hear im married, I guess you will know the right guy came along afterall lol. Keep God first in everything you do and he will take you through everything you think you are not able to go through. True Friends please continue to be the true friends you are, so we can discard of all the fake friends and those pretending to be our friends :).
“Good friend, follow your father’s good advice; don’t wander off from your mother’s teachings.Wrap yourself in them from head to foot; wear them like a scarf around your neck.Wherever you walk, they’ll guide you; whenever you rest, they’ll guard you;When you wake up, they’ll tell you what’s next.For sound advice is a beacon, good teaching is a light, moral discipline is a life path.” Proverbs 6:20 -23
Everything about this is perfection. The buckles on the dress fit the buckles on the bag and even the ones on the shoes...sigh...yes yes you know it...I DIE!!!!! Its Michael Kors and I found it using Followsales but it is actually on the Bergdoff Goodman website which you can find by click here.
Ok so I am slightly antsy. I did some work online for a company (name withheld for now) and getting them to pay is getting long. I would hate to have to go all out on them but nothing is free in this world and a girl has got bills to pay. So watch this space for if they pay and how I plan to get my money if they dont, you might learn some legal/ethical ways to get payment for online services rendered. You know legal and ethical and two biggies...if you are doing something unethical and illegal to get paid, then you are no better than the person who is refusing to pay you. Do stay tuned (cue the dramatic music.... )
Moving right along, today's topic is one that I have talked about a little bit before but is still bugging me enough that I need to bring it up again. Those annoying change your status for a cause Facebook messages. Ok by show of hands, how many of us really do much more than change our status and not really pay attention to why we are being asked to do this?
I know I dont. Yes I know some people argue that putting these messages up on Facebook will raise a greater awareness blah blah blah...I say blah!!! Most of these people are just looking for a fad, something to jump on and call it a day. People are fickle and in order to get them to do something in this day and age you actually have to call them out to do what it is you want. These Facebook status changes do nada but cheapen whatever message you are trying to put across.
I think for people to make their cause impact Facebook in a more positive way, they need to encourage people to actively participate in some way besides just changing one's status. For example how about giving ebadges for people who actually participate in a forum or some other symposium that educates people about your cause?
How about having a Facebook page dedicated to your cause where you pick random people to write something or present a discussion point related to the cause every 45 minutes or so. I would feel more challenged by a cause that actively seeks my participation than one that just wants me to change my status so I can feel good about myself.
These quick make yourself feel better schemes are annoying to me because they stroke the egos of our current generation. Whereas in the past people actually sacrificed for the causes they believed in, I feel as if our generation just likes to jump on the bandwagon of what they think its cool, and its "on to the next one" as soon as something new comes around. Causes should not compromise their stance just so they can be consumed by the population for their 15 minutes of fame. If you have something worth standing up for, be consistent in your message and in your method and those who truly will provide the backbone for your cause will come out and be there for you through thick and thin.
The next time you see a Facebook message asking you to do something, I challenge you not to do it but to educate yourself about the cause being advocated and post a thought provoking question or finding about that specific cause. I believe this will provoke more discussion and education, rather than blindly following your friends leads and changing your picture or your status. Let us learn to be more empathetic than apathetic in the way we treat the things we are supposed to care about. If you truly do not care, then do not waste my time by posting these things and urging me to do the same. Knowledge is power if we truly bother to know what is worth knowing. Think about something greater than yourself for once and see how much of a difference it makes in your life.
This is one of the occasions I think the mannequin does not do the dress justice. SMH. I think this dress by Azzaro has the potential to be oh so sexy on an actual human being and the boots just make it extra purrfect :). You can find it here for $1382.50 , yeah I know...just chump change :).
Ok so today's post is jacked from T.D. Jakes. I don't usually like the prosperity gospel but this is one of the times he said something that I really agree with. Letting people and situations go is very very very hard, I should know with all the men I have dated but the experiences I went through with them also teaches me that you NEED to let hurtful experiences and evil people GO! Not for their sakes but for your own. God wants the best for all of us ultimately, but if you are stuck looking at a door he has closed you will definitely miss the other door that he has opened for you. So try as hard as you can (with prayer) to let go of your past hurts, trials, torments, tormentors...remember in the end the battle is not for you but for God to handle on your behalf. Then refocus your energy and time into positive things, things that will benefit and enrich your life. Think about this seriously, How many times do you think about people you have wronged???? Most of the time you hardly give them a second thought, now this is precisely how much the person who has wronged you thinks about you. In other words, they NEVER think of you. So there you are, holding all this anger, frustration, pain, revenge and killing yourself whilst that person is living their life, happy barely giving you a thought...doesnt that allow that person to CONTINUE to control you therefore? I do not know about you, but I do not want anyone else in charge of my life, love and destiny...I choose the way I go or do not go and that is why even though it is hard, I choose to forgive people and let things go even if I havent forgotten it all. Now I am no better than you so I know you can do it too. Keep praying first, remember what is important in your life and worry about you. The rest will fix itself. I pray we are all able to in the new year drop all our old habits, patterns and leave them in this year. Lets grow and let go and let God handle it.
There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk Away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, Loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, Staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might Be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they Would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means That their part in the story is over. And you've got To know when people's part in your story is over so that you Don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God Means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!! If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you And was never intended for your life, then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...... LET IT GO!!! If someone can't treat you right, love you back, And see your worth..... LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you, LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge...... LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets Your needs or talents LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude....... LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...... LET IT GO!!! If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take You to a new level in Him........ LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....... LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won't even Try to help themselves...... LET IT GO!!! If you're feeling depressed and stressed ......... LET IT GO!!! If there is a particular situation that you are so used to Handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...... LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for this New Year! LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left .. Think about it, and then, LET IT GO!!! "The Battle is the Lord's!"
Cherish love, treat others with the kindness you will want them to treat you with, give your best to the world we are only here temporarily, Do you want to leave knowing your whole purpose was hatred and revenge? I doubt it :)...LET IT GO!!!!!
I always try to avoid these stretch boots because I am not quite sure how they will look with my thighs, or even if they will fit, but even I have to admit these look QUITE delicious...yummy. If you agree and have $340.00 just lying around you can get them here. They are Jil Saunders by the way.
So onto other things. You should really be in my apartment right now, it smells absolutely heavenly...I tell you those Bath and Body works wall flowers are absolutely amazing. You can find those right here. And because I like you ill share with you a coupon you can use, F102785 and that will take $10.00 off any order. (Sweet right?)
Ok so moving right along, today I am not going to do my usual rant or thinking out loud post but rather put up some good websites that I have used for sales that you may benefit from. Now I already spoke about Theoutnet.com my fav site to go and dream about things I want, you should check it out and pay attention to their birthday because then they sell everything for $1 ...yes no lie but GOOD LUCK with that. Sign up to receive notifications about various sales they have.
Another site that I use to compare deals is Followsales. Basically this website scours the web and finds deal sites or deals on other sites and lists it all on their website. It saves you from having to go check for deals on several sites because they are all right there. Other fashion sites that I have bookmarked and you probably should bookmark too are as follows: EditorsCloset, Ideeli, Modnique.com. Now these sites are useful because they list designer duds for very cheap. For example Ideeli has BCBG on sale right now and the prices are almost criminal. Look them up...
Travel wise, there are two main sites that I have kept my eyes glued on. These sites are Sniqueaway and Airfarewatchdog. Both these sites find good travel deals and then you can get them. I am eyeing a few places on Sniqueaway. What I like about both of these is that it finds you places within the U.S. so you can plan a fun romantic getaway or time away with the girls/boys.
Food deals? Groupon.com is usually your best bet. I have gotten some awesome deals in general on groupon but most especially, restaurant deals. So if you are travelling somewhere it does not hurt to see what groupons are being offered in that area. If you are stuck in your own area, doesnt hurt to check out what groupon has to offer you. It isnt one of these its too good to be true deals, I have used it for about 6 months now with no trouble at all. You can also get them as gifts so looking for a perfect spa coupon but cant find anything good, look on groupon, looking for a good restaurant for a first or second date, groupon it...just try it out and trust me you wont be sorry.
Now before I end this, it would be incomplete if I did not put up my favorite charities up here too, every little bit helps so this Christmas when you are thinking of people to get gifts for, or even thinking of what to do with your Christmas bonus, donate a little bit to your favorite charity, (or you can donate to one of mine and you will be blessed for it). Well the ones I try to donate to are: WorldVision, Little Sister of the Poorand the March of Dimes. But you can donate to any, just try to donate (Salvation Army can use your old clothes, shoes, household items etc.)
Ok so these are some of the main sites I have used for my Christmas shopping and the places I plan to give to so I hope you can find something useful on these sites. If you have a specific thing you are looking for and havent been able to find a good deal on send me a message and I'll see what I will be able to come up with for you.
Jesus is the reason for the season and we bring him closer when we interact with our friends and families. Focus more on giving, less on getting and enjoy time with those you love.
This Burberry Brit is my new addiction, this is the female version but I am dying over the male one. Go figure. Trust me and go smell it sometime, it will make your toes curl in a good way :). You can find it here.
So I meant to post on this yesterday when I saw it but I got side tracked so I figure today is as good as any to talk about it. So I was doing my usual trolling on websites when I came across a story about Rhianna's new boyfriend Matt Kemp possibly cheating on her. If you want to see the video you can click here or here or evenhere.(get the point?)
Now anyone who knows me (or who has any sense) knows I abhor cheating. It is inexcusable because you can always tell your partner "hey I am not feeling you anymore lets go our separate ways" but to sit there and know you are desiring someone else or you are being with someone else is just wrong.
I know I have spoken about cheating several times before so no need to rehash it, my point in mentioning it now is that we should stop condoning or ridiculing the people it happens to celebrities or not. I still have to read my US weekly or whichever magazine Camille (Kelsey Grammar's ex wife) is featured on fully. But the one thing I read whilst skimming through is the fact that people think that because these people (celebrities) are rich etc., that means they do not experience pain when they are cheated on. Not true!! They are human beings just like you and me. Yes they can go anywhere they choose to try to get rid of the pain but hey pain is pain is pain.
For all the bloggers who wrote about Matt possibly cheating on Rhianna and made her look like she deserved it SHAME ON YOU. Shame on me too for thinking finally theres something that perfect girl seems not to be able to do so perfect. (Mea culpa). I am not one to sing the praises of celebrities, God knows they have enough yes people to do that, all I am saying is that when something happens, lets not all jump on the bandwagon. (e.g. Bossip highlighting Tony as a dirty dog and his soon to be ex wife Eva as a scorned lover), are these titles really necessary? Let's try to gain more media literacy and lets not be swayed simply by what we read. Celebrities are human beings just like we are, their sins just happen to be broadcast more than ours. I bet if we were followed closely by cameras 247 people would find things to judge us on too. Cheating is not fun nor is it fair if it happens to Oprah, Rhianna, Beyonce, me or you...
Another very cute look although I would have dumped the black and white shirt/top and replaced it with a plain white one, just to make the jacket stand out a bit more. Nonetheless, very cute look and the jacket reminds me of something I used to have. If you want to get the look, you know the drill....click right here.
So today's post is interesting, over Thanksgiving weekend, Kiki sent me an interesting post on relationships. The gist of the post was that instead of staying single, women need to learn to settle for men who may not be what they envisioned to be their Prince Charming. Yes I see you looking at me funny. Well to read more about her position click right HERE.
Ok lets go through the key points that she raises: "To the outside world, of course, we still call ourselves feminists and insist—vehemently, even—that we’re independent and self-sufficient and don’t believe in any of that damsel-in-distress stuff, but in reality, ...we’re women who want a traditional family. ... every woman I know—no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure—feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried." I am not sure I agree with this point. I know I personally want to be married with children but at the back of my mind when no suitable man was showing himself, I had a sit down with myself and said it MAY not happen. So it bothers me a bit when people get up and say these things about women. Why do women HAVE to be one way or the other? Why do we HAVE to want to be married or not and at a specific age, before 30..why do people still insist on putting all women in one box? Well she has something to tell me about making that point..."and all I can say is, if you say you’re not worried, either you’re in denial or you’re lying. In fact, take a good look in the mirror and try to convince yourself that you’re not worried, because you’ll see how silly your face looks when you’re being disingenuous."...wow, so if I am seriously not feeling one way or another about this then I have to be lying or in denial? Who made the rule that women HAVE to want to have a husband or children or they must be broken? I will tell you like I told Naa, this is an oversimplification of what it means to be human and more importantly what it means to be a woman. I think this is insulting to all women who havent wanted a husband or a child, and to those who have had children and taken care of these children without a husband. Just because you put yourself in a situation you no longer like does not make it ok for you to commit the fallacy of over generalization and make such sweeping assertions.
As if that was not bad enough...Now for the coup de grâce, "At their core, they pose one of the most complicated, painful, and pervasive dilemmas many single women are forced to grapple with nowadays: Is it better to be alone, or to settle? My advice is this: Settle! That’s right. Don’t worry about passion or intense connection. Don’t nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling “Bravo!” in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go." Oh wow...really? I believe this writer is writing from a place of frustration or is a man who is trying to get a female who is out of his league to pay attention to him, because this person can not be serious. It seems she has not been in a relationship in so long that she is oversimplifying the whole relationship dynamic. I am glad she presents this as an opinion piece so people are not really going to take her seriously because I do not. If we could all SETTLE and we were OK with our mates as simple objects of convenience then divorce rates would really not be a problem. Marriages do not last these days because people settle, they look to the material, the what can this person give me and then when they realize albeit too late that they really cannot stand the way the person eats with their mouth open or the way they smell even if they are bringing home a lot of money, that is when they bolt or cheat.
This is my problem with a lot of bloggers and something that I try to be very careful not to do in my own writing. Dont let your frustrations boil over until the point that you convince yourself that certain behaviors or thoughts are acceptable or the way things really should be, even and especially because you have no experience or no recent experience in that avenue. Lets take this from the biblical aspect, which J and I looked up recently. Now if God in his infinite wisdom decided man should have been with someone just for company he could well have given man any of the animals he had already created and called it a day. He went above this and took out of man (wo)man so that they would be help mates to each other. If you dont believe me ask Genesis: "So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." I guess I missed the part about where man and woman could decide to settle and just get together for the hell of it. I think settling goes beyond harming ones self and insults God. You do not trust that in his own time he will find the right person or right situation for you. Settling is a sin, yeah there it is, I said it. Settling simply says, God I know you are the man up there, but I do not think you are working fast enough so i am going to speed things up for you and get with this person right here. NO! NO! NO! NO! What have we been taught? Trust!!!! Trust!!! Trust!!!! Stop making yourself God and let him do things in his own time and then maybe you will not be getting yourself into the messes you do which make you write stupid opinion pieces like these.
Fine lets say you dont buy the religion aspect. Lets leave religion aside and consider this from a purely humanistic level. Now I do not know about you, but personally, I dont like people pissing me off. I can stand some people pissing me off because I know we have something than transcends that immediate annoying sensation that person may be making me feel. THIS is based on trust, love, understanding, respect etc. etc. I challenge anyone to tell me you can SETTLE and have these feelings for someone. I will tell you you are lying. The reason that man or woman goes in to work every day even when every bone in their body is telling them to rest is because they know they are doing this for some greater purpose, for some greater person. It is not about them, and that is what differentiates a GOOD relationship from ANY other kind of relationship. When you start to think more about the other person than of yourself, CONGRATULATIONS you are experiencing the real deal. Settling is selfish and an insult to yourself, and to the other person. By you settling you are disrespecting the other person I feel as if that is telling them, well I know I can do any better but better does not seem to find me, or I am tired of waiting for something better, so you will do ...Now what happens if you settle and then your right person comes along? Divorce? Selfish Selfish Selfish!!!!
I probably have spent too much time over-analyzing this post because in essence all that comes across is someone as I said before who probably has gotten tired of being alone and now tries to make herself feel better by advising others to go a destructive route. Misery loves company. They want to appear to be giving good advice by not going the usual route of saying I am a single woman and I love it and trying to convince everyone. But the alternative route she took is equally as destructive. Just because you for reasons known only unto yourself did not marry any of your boyfriends and chose to have a child on your own does not give you the right to advice other women to settle. Any woman who reads that posts and agrees is an IDIOT and there I said it. Yes we were made to be part of a pair but we were also made to be able to exist as strong independent beings if that is what is asked of us. Why are we still so selfish that we would actually consider hurting someone else so we could live comfortable lives? "The couples my friend and I saw at the park that summer were enviable but not because they seemed so in love—they were enviable because the husbands played with the kids for 20 minutes so their wives could eat lunch. In practice, my married friends with kids don’t spend that much time with their husbands anyway (between work and child care), and in many cases, their biggest complaint seems to be that they never see each other. So if you rarely see your husband—but he’s a decent guy who takes out the trash and sets up the baby gear, and he provides a second income that allows you to spend time with your child instead of working 60 hours a week to support a family on your own—how much does it matter whether the guy you marry is The One?" There is nothing more I can say about this apart from the fact that this is a very sad person, someone who should show you how not being true to yourself could make you end up. Never settle, trust in a God who wants more than just the minimum for you and work towards achieving that. We know not what tomorrow brings, but if we live as we have been cautioned to live, then we fear not what tomorrow or even the day after will bring. Do not settle at work, in love or in life, the only person you end up hurting is yourself. You only have one life, live it well because there are no refunds.
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved. (Psalm 127:1-2) Unless God gives you your mate you are wasting your time...
Done Done Done...this outfit is absolute perfection!!! I am loving the one arm look on a lot of dresses I have seen lately. (Including my birthday dress yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! )
