God did not make us to suffer...

Instead of focusing on updating my other blog (insert shameless plug here its ahenii.blogspot.com btw) I am back on this blog and I am wondering why since I sang the "Dont cry for me Argentina" song for this blog a year ago. What a difference a year makes...heck what a difference even 6 months make but that is neither here not there or anywhere in between those two. Or is it?

As usual, I felt like a soliloquy and where better to do so but on my own public diary where hopefully another person going through or feeling through some of the things I am going through will have hope and joy and gain strength in the fact that at least they are not the only one.

Like I said before, it is amazing how much difference a year makes. I can definitely tell that I am not the same person I was a year ago (No Duh!!!) and can finally see how going through certain situations prepares one to go through others. Never underestimate the power of your experiences, trust me some of the times you have been through (especially the trying ones) are just building blocks for when the Godzilla of troubles come your way. (no shade to Godzilla)

No this is not going to be a completely random post with random rambling words (you hope). I am writing this to myself so in a year when I look back on this post and remember what I have been through, I can be grateful to God that he has taken me as far as he has. #AMEN

Last year by this time, I was freshly scarred (*sigh*) and moving or some would say escaping into a new territory. Yes  this "new" territory was "home" but it had not been home for the longest while. I was excited, worried, pensive etc. etc. "what if I did not find a job, what if I did not make any friends, what if what if what if"...for anyone who has ever made a move this big you can empathize with me. 

Fast forward to a year later and I love my life. I love every single piece of it even the most annoying parts that make me ask God...why...I love it all. I honestly do not know what allows me to have this peace because ordinarily I should not be happy. I am in a situation that should break me down to my last. Pop Quiz: Have you ever been in a situation where you choose to give another your all only to have it constantly thrown back in your face whilst that other celebrates others who have disrespected them? In the beginning I took it VERY personal. HOW DARE YOU, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM, I CAN HAVE ANY MAN I CHOOSE blah blah blah... then I got wiser. In the end, I realized it was precisely because of this reaction of mine (I, me etc.) that God chose for this to happen to me. If you had asked me to describe myself, I doubt I would have said I am proud etc. etc. but I am learning that pride is one of the biggest parts of who I am and God keeps throwing situations my way to say "hey, you are NOTHING but what I have made you"...so the sooner I learn to go with the flow and accept that situations as hurtful as they may seem do not and will not define me and rather HOW I react to those situations is what will impact me, the better my life will be.

Hold up, wait a minute, pause...WHOAAA!!!...I am not advocating that if you are in an abusive situation stay there because that is what God wants for you...FAR FROM IT...all I am saying is that whatever situation you are in, look at it, pray about it and realize what you can learn from it and make a change if it is not what you want. No situation is permanent. In the end if you know your self worth then you know what to expect from others and how you expect others to treat you (I could talk about that for days). A person with precious material does not NEED to be told that what they have is precious...it is only a Fool who has a precious stone, discards it and craves for Cubic Zirconia #noshade to the Cubic Zirconia characters of the world some fool out there loves you too. The diamond is not less of a diamond even with a thousand cubic zirconias out there (best believe that). You are not less of what you truly are because another cannot see or value your worth, others do and more will at the right time PLEASE REMEMBER THAT!! No one can make you feel less of what you truly are UNLESS you allow them to and if someone cannot truly appreciate you in word and deed for what you bring to their life then you need to advice yourself...aka Let them go.

As TD Jakes cautioned  

"I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left...

 I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay...Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to . . . . . . . .LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth . . . . . . . .LET IT GO!!!
 

If you're feeling depressed and stressed . . . . . . . .LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to . . . . . . . .LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing......LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left. think about it, and then . . . . . . . .LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"
 

In the end, I continue to thank God for all the opportunities he has brought my way and especially my support system which sustains me. A priest once told me that the guide to dealing with any of life's pressures can be found in Philippians 4: and so I leave you with that. Whenever life threatens to bring you to your lowest point...Pick up your Bible read that passage...say a prayer and watch what happens...I pray for so many things for all of us but ultimately I pray for peace...

...Until next year...

Philippians 4: 4-13

Final Exhortations

⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹ Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Thanks for Their Gifts

¹⁰ I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it.¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

The Good Life...

Welcome to the new improved Blog which hopes to be a resource point for people interested in finding information about Ghana. 

I am not an expert on all things Ghanaian ( I am still learning) and that is why this blog is going to be different. You can come on my journey to learn what to do and what not to do if ever in Ghana. Find out how I went about looking for/finding jobs, friends, business deals, tourism spots...oh even how I dealt with keeping up with my high-tech lifestyle. It will be fun ride ...I think...

So enjoy the ride and if you have any specific questions please do not hesitate to contact me....aaheni@gmail.com

He came, I saw, and True Love conquered...The End (for now :))

Don't cry for me Argentina..... Unless you really really want to, in that case don't let me stop you. :) *Sigh*. LOL ok so I started writing this blog because I needed an outlet to vent and I have sufficiently satisfied that need at this current time. I will be back reinvented for your reading pleasure, best be'led that, but for now, I must bid you Adieu...

This past week has been one of the emotionally draining weeks I have ever had but the one thing I have realized is that first of all, I have some KICKASS friends, you are ALL truly amazing and know how to make a girl feel special and second, the human spirit is amazingly resilient. No matter what you are going through, remember the good Lord loves you and only wants what is best for each and everyone of us, and he is there with us through sickness, foreclosures, divorce, child custody battles, through ALL of IT!!

This was the last week of class and my students opened up about their various lives and I could do nothing but thank God for my life, issues and all. I thank God for your lives as well because I have come to realize that some people TRULY know PAIN. You think you have it bad until you hear about someone else.

Anyways I digress, so now the American Chapter of my life is done, and now I am on to bigger and better things (let's see if Mexico works out :), Dont judge me India is next *sigh* lol). Well I am finally ready to make A change surrounded by all your love and support. If I don't have your love and support, call me let's talk it out...HA!

I have given a lot and taken a lot and I am the person I am today because of the many lessons I have learned in this country. I appreciate every single opportunity I have come across, and I thank anyone who ever kicked me down (especially any evil students) because ultimately when I got back up, I appreciated the "upness" more. I end this blog with this last post and this last piece of advice that I hope you think about daily...

I remain forever yours,

Dr. CAT

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

Let your faith be stronger than your obstacles...just name your first born Faith...:)

I love this outfit...I would change the shoes but everything else matches perfectly. I think I am in love....:)...Well if you want to get it, you know the deal click here, its on sale for $146.66...Dolce & Gabanna...sighhh...

My mother shared the following reflection with my brothers and I the other day and I thought I would share it would you...Enjoy :)...

Drinking the Cup of Christ

“At the end of Lent, I was thinking about how important it is to know how to live the painful moments, the suffering, being cast aside, loneliness, moments of failure, disappointment, and unfaithfulness – moments that are a part of the human existence because they are a part of the human reality. Sometimes the Lord wants us to participate in human suffering. We must mature in this capacity to suffer and at the same time offer it to Jesus. To do this, it is necessary to speak to Him, to cry out to God about our suffering, kneeling with our eyes fixed on the crucifix. We must form this way of thinking so that, in the moment of the Cross, we do not walk around complaining, trying to escape it, and wasting this precious moment in which Jesus is sharing the Cross with us and giving us a small part of His pain on the Cross. Pain is a part of human life. Do not avoid it, minimize its significance, or talk about it in such a trivial way!

This is my experience as a weak and fragile woman. I know that many times I, too, lost those moments. When I reflected on my life and really saw how often this happened, I said to myself, “Look at what I lost. How immature I was!’ We have a three-word expression in Community to help us get through the moments of suffering and provocation: “silence, swallow, and suffer.” When someone criticizes or reprimands you, and you respond by defending yourself, the other young men in Community say, “You’ve missed the boat! What we mean is you’ve missed the “boat” of maturity, of self-control, of the capacity to be quiet and to suffer with dignity in silence.” I teach these things to the young people because, when they leave the Community, their boss at work will want to be right, their spouse will want to be right, their children will argue, and – without any doubt – someone must give in so that peace can reign. Yes, peace is most important and to know how to “give in” is our strength and safeguard. It is the mysterious school of the Cross, of our God who did not explain the Cross but welcomed it, experiencing the Cross in the body of His crucified Son. Jesus invites us to look at Him, to ask Him for faith and love, so that our heart will not lose hope, and after the darkness of Good Friday, we will know how to capture in our own lives the radiant light of Easter morning! The risen Jesus is our true hope, because in Him pain and death are defeated!”

Mother Elvira Petrozzi (Foundress of Comunita Cenaclolo……providing houses of refuge in 15 countries for the lost and desparate)

So he's your EX...Ill make him MY EXCEPTION!!!

So since I often put up too formal attire up that we can't always wear, I decided to switch it up today and put something that we can all wear on that/those "hot" date(s). Also, summer is coming around, so perfect time to show those legs :). This beauty here is a Vivienne Tam dress and although the website says you can wear it to work, I think you will get a lot of *side eyes* so let's just save this for After work wear...mmmkay? It's $192.00 and you can find it here.

A friend's ex started hinting about the good days and what could/might have been between us which got me thinking about today's topic.

Dating your friend's ex.

Today's topic is one that I have felt differently about on different days, and at different times in my life. Don't shake your head say NO and run away. Let's talk it out.
Some people might say it is a basic rule, never date your friend's ex. I say (while I run and go hide) it may depend on the situation. Let's read on.

The two things I think are important are time, and how close you are to said friend. If you are truly close friends then don't do it, it can get very messy. There is no discussing that, just don't! If you are acquaintances that bump into each other every once in awhile and CAN hang out but aren't that close then its easier.

In terms of time, if they dated for more than 6 months and lived in the same place then I say its a dead deal let it go. If they dated for less than 6 months even if they lived in the same place then in that case I say its a free for all and if you feel strongly about dating each other, go ahead. Here is my reasoning.

If you dated someone for less than 6 months, then your relationship would not have matured enough for you two to know yourselves. You would have still been learning about each other, the things that make you tick and the things that make you tock. Any time after 6 months, however, this is when if you are faking it, the true you starts to come out.

So you really really want to date your friend's ex? Well you get no judgment from me (unless he is my ex.) Kidding!!! Well if you choose to date your friend's ex, there are some key things you have to keep in mind.

The first one being if your friend is truly over their ex. People lie, we all do,get over it! I know the many times I have sworn I was over my ex but I would have stabbed any of my friends who had tried to get close/date them. Knowing how much humans lie, you need to look at the whole picture and put yourself in your friend's shoes (even if you are not the same size) and try to see if he/she is truly over the person or if he/she is TRYING to move on. If he/she is not over him/her or TRYING to move on, don't do it. You being around the guy/girl is just going to keep the guy in her/his mind which cannot be a good thing for your friend. You owe it to your friendship to let this other person go.

The second thing you have to deal with is having to deal with the fact that whatever you are going through your friend may have experienced with said person. Every person likes the fact that when he/she is sharing something with their friends about their significant other, they can oooohh and ahhh about it. Imagine being all excited to tell them about how X plans to take you to the moon and your friend chimes in and tells you about all the fun THEY had when THEY went to the moon. If you are not a strong individual you may begin to resent your friend even if he/she is not doing this on purpose. You can't complain either because you knew they were exes before you took this step.

The other thing you have to deal with is OTHER people. Maybe you and your friend really do not mind that you are dating his/her ex. That does not stop other people from "judging" you, however. You have to be a strong person to deal with this. If you are going to whine about it then it could ruin your relationship. If you are not strong then other people will start to run your relationship. They might start to put ideas in your head you may have not considered.

The last thing I think you have to deal with is paranoia. If you are not a strong person you might start to over think your relationship. You may think that maybe they want to be with you so they can still be around their ex. This could hurt you in two ways. If said person is not truly over your friend then you keeping them in your circle might just remind them of the good times they shared and you may end up being dumped. for your friend (*sigh). Alternatively, your friend may not want this ex back and will want to move on and be irritated every time you bring their ex around which will cause a rift in the friendship you and he/she have. Or you could go crazy thinking about how the ex is with you to stalk their ex your friend and never really cared for or about you. Can you see how this situation can drive you crazy if you are not emotionally strong/stable.

It is not always bad though. Looking at the other side of the coin, what if your friend got with said person knowing very well that you wanted them and they did not work out. Does that then mean you should not go for this person? I say do it. If your friend knew you wanted said person and went ahead and got with them then they set you up (and you should really question your friendship). Or if you meet someone and get to know them and truly enjoy being with them and find out they have dated a friend of yours awhile ago, are you supposed to dump the person? (I say are you psycho?) There are legitimate times where you CAN and SHOULD date your friend's ex. (Yes, if I have ever said you have a hot ex this is where you should worry :))

I have often tried to be as honest as I could about my feelings for my exes. I told my friends which ones I was truly over, and which ones they could not go near. (It's not fair but its life). I have a personal rule about dating my friends exes, no matter how scrumptious they look, how rich they are, etc. etc. I just avoid doing it (*woosah*).
There is too much headache there for me to deal with. I want my own fresh man, one with his own fresh problems that none of my friends have the "cheat sheet" to.

You may feel differently, however, and that is your own decision to make. Just make sure if you are getting with your friend's ex you are doing this for the right reasons and not simply to make your friend jealous or get your ex back.

I am lucky that my friends and I are never attracted to the same type of men. I can honestly say there is not a single man any of my friends have dated I would have wanted and I am sure they feel the same about the men I have dated. If they wanted to go ahead and date any of my exes they would be free to, however. We are all big boys and girls :). (Naa just stay away from ......) :) Kidding!!!

So what say you? Are exes of friends completely off the menu, why, why not?

Ghana....oooo.....

THE BIG SIX

These were the six brave men and leaders of the United Gold Coast Convention (U.G.C.C.) who were arrested and detained under the Emergency Regulation in 1948 during disturbances in the Gold Coast. They were (and are) the gallant men who spearheaded the transition of the Gold Coast from colonialism to Independence on that memorable day the 6th of March, 1957.

From left Dr. Kwame Nkrumah, Mr. Obetsebi-Lamptey, Mr. Ako Adjei, Mr. Edward Akuffo-Addo, Dr. J. B. Danquah, Mr. William Ofori Atta.

INDEPENDENCE SPEECH :

OUR Jesus said I should help YOU Pay for WHAT?!!!!!!!

If you know Lynda and you want to make her happy, let me let you in on a secret. She loves all things Anthropologie. Since she provided the impetus for this "rant", it is only fitting that I post something she absolutely adores. So sometime last week, she sent me a link about a Pastor asking his "flock" to help him pay for his/a plane. If you are so inclined watch the link here.

On that day many will say to me, `Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?'

And then will I declare to them, `I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.'

*Sigh* Where do I even begin to begin... Ok Disclaimer, first of all, I do not know said Pastor, nor has he ever done anything wrong to me, or anyone I know ( I think).

HOWEVER, I have issue with his (and others like him) "message(s)". Although come to think of it, a person giving such a message should not and does not rate highly in my books but I digress. I have a deep loathing for such preachers and their gospels because it focuses too much on prosperity especially in the here and now. So when you are not prospering, then is Jesus mad at you? Or perhaps is Jesus taking his time? If everything truly has its season then why do some preachers in their gospel try to preach that we must always have a high season and that is what God wants for us. I know God does not want us to suffer, but our OWN actions lead us to do so. That is where our free will comes into play. If your free will lets you cheat on your spouse, your job etc. then how do you run to Church and expect God to reward this? You cannot hold God accountable for your sins!!!

For these Preachers, I want to ask a simple question. Where in the Bible does God call on his prophets to make others suffer on his behalf? Did God tell Abraham to tell his wife to sacrifice their only son? Let's even look at Jesus, do you think God could not have sent down an Angel to be sacrificed? I do not buy any Gospel that tells me that in order for the Church to grow I have to sacrifice and the minister/pastor/priest must enjoy. Pastor's/preachers how about we focus on GROWING the congregation we have before trying to shoot for the moon? Did the early disciples have jets etc? No but still the message went far. Be the change you want to see in the world. Let people see you ACT like a Christian.

I respect a pastor, preacher, infact any Christian who acts more, and speaks less. Did Mother Theresa sit in Palace somewhere and get minions to do her work? No! She was deep down in the trenches. She ate what they ate, slept where they slept, did what they did!!! She SHOWED with action!!! If you need ME to sacrifice for YOU then we maybe have a problem n'est ce pas?

I keep wondering how some people get "sucked" into these preachers and their Gospels ( and they ask me how I stay with my depressing Catholicism) and the Vatican which some would argue is a haven for material wealth. I would remind these people that although the Vatican receives funding from Catholics around the world, that is not its only source of income. The day I see the Pope, or even hear of the Pope or any Priest for that matter telling any Catholic to give so he/the parish can chill, Catholicism and I will have a problem.

Moving right along, for some people who buy into these Preachers, they have proof that their gospels work. Such people argue that they have seen products of their friends who go to such churches prospering. Mr./Mrs. X gave 1 million and got 4 million back by God. I give them a side eye and submit that Mr. /Mrs. X did not prosper BECAUSE of that Church but DESPITE their Church trying to fleece them. Some people are great Christians, who TALK the TALK and WALK the WALK...such a person will receive their blessings because ultimately they follow the tenets that God has given (the 10 commandments etc.)

I am so worked up about this because God is not an exclusive deal on a website and I hate it when I get the feeling that he is being marketed in this way. He is a free for all. We all know what it is to be good, and what it is to be bad. Its innately built in. He asks that we do good and shun bad. DONE! Not everyone who comes in his name is FOR him. Priests, Pastors, Church people are ultimately HUMAN like you and I. They strive to live godly lives but YET they are HUMAN and thus fallible. It is my opinion that anyone who says I need to sacrifice for THEM who is NOT Jesus Christ, we have a problem. Think about it!

Matthew 7: 21 - 27
	"Not every one who says to me, `Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.
	On that day many will say to me, `Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?'
	And then will I declare to them, `I never knew you; depart from me, you evildoers.'
	"Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock;
	and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.
	And every one who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand;
	and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell; and great was the fall of it.